#I’m not being remotely coherent about this at all

[stagefoureddiediaz]

I feel so itchy and skin crawly looking at this picture

Like that is Eddie covered in bees (shudder) I’m assuming during the call at the perfume launch thingy where we’ve seen him running with his bee net on!

It’s also making my brain itch!!

[adventuringblind]

Mr. Blue Sky

Charles Leclerc x Reader x Max Verstappen

Genre: Fluff

Request: Yes, I loved every second of this. Y'all are welcome to send me your own ideas :)

Summary: After Max gets cheated on, he can't stand being in the house where it happened. Reader and Charles take him in and show him he's still loved.

Warnings: cheating

Notes: No hate to Kelly. I just needed this as a plot point.

Fun fact: my mom calls Valentine’s Day ‘legislative love day’ and will only do any remotely related activities on the 15th because she has a point to prove.

Masterlist

The sound of Charles' phone buzzing at an ungodly hour is what you woke up to. The room is still pitch black, and you can hardly make out Charles in the bed.

He rolls over and pucks up the phone. "It's Max." He states. Voice filled with the sleep from which he was dragged.

He answers the phone, and you curl up into him, hoping to listen in. "Max? Are you-"

You can hear faint mumbling and the occasional choked sob on the other end of the line. "Breathe, Max. I'm going to come get you. Can you stay on the phone with me?" Charles is throwing off the covers and looking for his car keys.

You look at Charles for some sort of answer. To which Charles pulls the phone away from his ear and kisses your head. "Kelly cheated. I'm going to go get him."

You nod your head in understanding. You clamber out of bed and see Charles off to the door.

Your grateful that Monte Carlo is a small city and that it doesn’t take long for him to come back. His body shouldering a drunk Max through the door.

Max is no coherent and reeks of alcohol. His eyes are puffy and his cheeks tear stained. His lips tremble as them mutter words neither of you can understand.

Your heart hearts for him. You and Charles had made an effort to be around the Dutch. You both actively became friends with him and found yourselves in each others company often.

And did you both end up falling for the same pair of blue eyes? Yes.

It was actually Charles who brought it up first. You’d never considered the idea of being with more then one person. Then you got to know Max and you found yourself considering more often then you’d admit.

Neither of you knew if Max would ever be into that and neither of you wanted to ask. The possibility of ruining what is currently a good friendship was not on the to-do list. Plus, he had Kelly and P.

You shake of your thoughts and help Charles get Max into the guest bed. You and him do your best at cleaning him up and making him comfortable despite the fact he is less then cooperative.

When you two are finally back in your own bed, Charles sighs in pained defeat. “She cheated on him while he was out with P.”

You cringe in disgust. “Has it been going on long?”

“Apparently so. About four months.” Charles climbs further into the blankets and pulls you into his chest. “He gave her the apartment. He was out late because he didn’t know where to go.”

“We could offer him a place here for the time being.” You suggest. The slightest hint of a smirk playing on your lips.

“Pretty sure you are just wanting to see more of him.” He chuckles. “But yes, I think it’s a good offer until he figures things out.”

“Don’t lie, you stare at him all the time! You’re going to be the one who outs us.”

“Shush amour. I’m exhausted and I know you are also. Now sleep.”

~

The week brings interesting events. Max does take the offer to move in, though he’s been quiet and reserved since he started staying with you. Max, Charles, and Lando went back to, now Kelly’s apartment, to get his stuff.

He comes back into the house crying. His heart shattered and the apartment a mere reminder of the events that occurred.

Your grateful it’s the off season and Max will hopefully have some time to process before the start of the new season. You and Charles don’t push him and give him space when he needs. Though you also invade when you can see he’s spiraling. Desperate attempts at not letting him go into those dark places are often just you being in the same room as him.

~

By the time Christmas rolls around, he’s doing the slightest bit better. He’s been out of the room more and you haven’t had to force him to eat. He decorates the apartment with you and Charles.

It’s disastrous.

The three of you can’t stop laughing at the mess you’ve made of the decor.

The three of you spend Christmas Eve with Charles’ family. Max hadn’t wanted to go home to his less then festive father and Victoria was away with her in-laws.

You obviously weren’t going to leave him alone and Pascale had been thrilled when he said he’d come to dinner.

You could tell he felt awkward and out of place at first, but everyone did their best to make him feel welcome. Soon he was relaxing, sipping on his drink and engaging in conversation.

~

Christmas and new years had gone by to fast. January had now descended and the cold weather had yet to completely let up.

Originally you thought Max would be out by now. That he’d want his own space as soon as possible. It’s not like he couldn’t afford it. Yet he stayed and you and Charles welcomed him in.

Max was seemed like he was healing. His eyes had regained their light. The one they lost those first days of December. He definitely hadn’t moved one though. You and Charles could still hear the soft sniffles from his room at night.

He may be smiling, but he’s still broken hearted.

The most interesting new additions are the cats. The felines that are Max’s children. He would probably murder for his cats and become the next John Wick. There is something wholesome and sweet about his interactions with his pets.

Charles on the other hand has a bad relationship with animals in general. Small felines included. He like them, they just don’t like him back yet. Max has been letting him feed them until they realize he is nice.

You also have learned that you can share meal prep with Max. You’d banned Charles from it after he tried once and failed miserably. Max isn’t the best in the kitchen, but he helps out and cooks some nights.

~

February. The month of love.

Everything around reminds Max of what happened. How he will not be doing anything special for the holiday. He doesn’t even want to go out of the apartment and you and Charles have to drag him to go get fresh air.

The fateful day comes around and you and Charles have agreed to keep it small.

Corny, sweet, and romantic is Charles definition of a good day and treats you accordingly.

You try to get Max to come eat something but end up just leaving it at the door.

Despite what people may think, Max is romantic at heart. Charles learned this last year when the Monegasque asked him if he was doing anything with Kelly for the holiday.

You and Charles are lounging on the sofa with a movie playing in the background. His arm draped around you and mouth pressing silly kisses along your jaw.

“I can feel your worry radiating from here.” Charles stops his kisses and you roll your eyes at him in response.

“He’s not eaten all day and I’ve heard him crying. Just wish I could help is all.”

Charles hums in your ear. “We could see if he wants a distraction.” He punctuates his sentence with a cheeky smile.

“Charles Perceval Leclerc! You can not seriously be suggesting what I think you are.” You playfully bat his arm. “I highly doubt he would neither want that or like that.”

“How about we ask and then go from there.”

“I think you just want him to fuck you.” This time it’s your turn to give a cheeky smile.

~

This is definitely not how you envisioned asking Max about this would go. His teary eyes haven’t looked away from Charles since the pretty male started talking.

This left you in an odd place of trying to read his reactions and getting absolutely nothing.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to or if you’re not into it. We would completely understand.” Charles laughs but you can tell he’s nervous. His body language betrays him.

Max looks between the two of you like he’s considering something. “You’re telling me you’ve both been crushing on me since last year? And I didn’t notice?”

“You’re very oblivious at times.” You shrug.

“That’s fair but also not the point.” Max stands up out of the bed and starts pacing. “I just don’t understand why me. You two are amazing people and you’re so great together.”

“Y/N has a numbered list of reasons in her phone that we’ve created in case this ever happened.” Charles looks at you expectantly but Your already pulling up the list.

“-please don’t read it I’m already blushing and that will make it worse. Maybe one day but not now.”

All of you freeze at the fact he insinuated a future.

“Does this mean you like us back?” Charles almost purrs. He’s so flirty now but if this goes farther then just a confession tonight he’ll be stuttering and weak in the knees. You know from experience.

Max is the stuttering mess right now however. He’s lost all of his words and is simply gesturing with his hands.

“Breathe Maxy, take your time.” He manages a few and usable to get a grip on his thoughts.

“I’ve to confess something first.” You both look at him expectedly but don’t push him. “The reason Kelly cheated on me is because she’d found a journal of mine. It was a thing my therapist told me to do and so I did. When you two started coming around more, I fell hard. For both of you. I wrote about to hopefully understand myself better and get the thoughts out of my head but they stayed and I hated myself for it. She read it and thought I cheated first so she just did it back.”

He’s in the verge of tears again but you and Charles can only stare I’d utter disbelief. Apparently, both of you are also oblivious.

“Please say something.”

“I think it must be fate.” Again that smirk is tugging at Charles lips.

The air in the room is replaced by a new tension. The kind Charles was originally insinuating before you three started talking.

“So about that proposal then…”

Valentine’s Day definitely couldn’t have ended any better.

[highonmarvel]

Hiii cutie-spud!! I have a request...vampire!bucky? I saw you liked vampires, and this potato likes vampires, so maybe we need a good dick down of vampire!bucky, making sure we can never leave him. After all, he found us, loves us like no other can, shouldn't we give our all to him?

🥔 ❤️ u

Warm

hi! oh my goodness! i’ve been a fan of your work for a few months, i’m so excited you know me! i feel like a bit of a celebrity, i can’t lie. thank you so much! i love you! and i’m sorry this took forever—i’m the world’s slowest writer. i really hope you like this, omg—this is my first time doing a request. okay, here we go.

Vampire!Bucky saves you from a car wreck. 18+

Dub/Non Con Warning!

more content warnings here!

You slowly peel your eyes open, and almost immediately regret doing so—even though it’s dark out, the little light there is adds to your headache, worsening the ringing sound in your ears, and a soft, rhythmic thump. You consider closing your eyes again, slumping forward and drifting back off to the sleep, but that beating becomes louder, and more coherent.

“Hey… Hey… Hey…” is all you can make out, a gentle coo lulling you back to sleep, until an arm shoots through glass and a hand grips on the door handle from the inside. You scream and sit up, noting a sharp but dull pain in your neck as you do so.

“I’m sorry,” a voice calls, still sounding far away and obstructed by the ringing in your ears, “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

You gasp as the door flies open and a man holds out his arms and coaxes you into them.

Unsure of what’s happening, you fall out of your seat, but he catches you with his strong arms and gentle chants, “It’s okay, I’ve got you, it’s okay…”

You look up at where you had stumbled out from: a car—your car—the front of it squashed against a tree and smoking from the hood.

“My- My car,” you manage to croak as you hold your arms out toward it.

“You had an accident, it’s okay, I’ll call someone, let me just take you back to my place, is that okay?”

You hesitate but even through your hazy mind you manage to remember your phone had died somewhere on the drive down from the mountains—you had been camping with your friends! in a remote area—before the accident. You left before them, and you were all taking the same route back to the city… how could they not have seen you? The ringing in your ears is dying down slightly and your surroundings are eerily quiet—just distant rustling and chirping. It’s dark, and it’s cold, so you must be outside, but you can’t see the moon—you can barely see anything. You look up and can make out just a few stars, the rest of them being covered by long, thin tendrils breaking into the night sky.

Branches. Trees! You’re in the woods.

“Is that okay?” he repeats.

You groggily look up at him and wince as you nod your head. He stands and effortlessly pulls you up with him; you squeal as he wraps a cold arm around your waist and raises you as he stands. Your feet are dangling off the ground for a moment until he gently sets you down, but keeps his hold on your waist. He brings his left arm over to your right and gently raises it to lay across his shoulders.

“There we go, good job,” he praises quietly as he takes a step forward, before asking if you’re able to walk. You take a step with him and sway slightly, head still spinning, but he catches you before you fall away from him and holds you slightly tighter against him.

“I can carry you,” he offers. You decline.

“You don’t seem like you have any major injuries—thank God—but you’re…” he slows down and drops the hand you have draped over his shoulders. He brings his fingers up to lightly touch your temple, to which you wince, “Sorry,” he mumbles, bringing his hand to his eyes, pale finger tips now stained with crimson, “You’re bleeding.”

You can barely make him out in the blackness of the forest and through your slightly blurred vision, but you swear his eyes flash with something… something you can’t name. But you can barely think about it; he swiftly picks your hand up again and starts walking.

It’s not possible to tell how long you were walking, but you can’t say it feels excruciating, your legs aren’t tired from the walk either; and you can’t tell the distance you’ve travelled, as you had just kind of zoned out, letting him do most of the work as you mindlessly pulled along.

But by the time you had reached a cabin, you were starting to regain a better form of comprehension, though your head was still aching.

You were grateful for the warmth of the cozy lodge, by size it was clear he lived alone.

“Thank you…” you say as he sets you down on a brown leather couch and hands you a blanket. You throw the warm cover over your shoulders and hold the corners together in the front as you settle a little more comfortably.

“Bucky,” he finishes for you with a smile.

“Bucky,” you complete your thanks, and give him your name in return.

“Does anything hurt?” he asks, calling over his shoulder as he ducks into a cupboard and begins rummaging around.

“My head’s killing me—apart from that, no,” you respond as he comes up, holding a small first aid kit in hand.

“Guess a concussion,” he says as he sits in a leather seat across from you, setting the bag down on the table next to it, “But here,” he lightly touches your left temple and you jerk away slightly. He pulls back to stare down at his fingers, “You’re bleeding… a lot. I think you need stitches.”

As he spoke he stared at his blood-painted fingers, for some reason making you uneasy. You shift uncomfortably and pull the blanket tighter around you. You lightly clear your throat and say, “I don’t need an ambulance or anything, but we should probably call someone to get my car, and, uhm, they can take me home.”

“I see a lot of you,” he says as he stands. Under the soft, yellow light of the cabin, you’re able to get a better look at him: he’s fair-skinned, tall, and strong with slightly wild hair, and even wilder eyes, fixated on you with a… hunger, like you’ve never seen; not just predatory, nearly inhuman altogether, “A lot of people come up and stay for no more than three days, and their biggest concern? Bears.”

He locks the door.

“When there’s much worse to fear out here.”

You’re unable to speak as he stalks towards you.

“And I’ve watched you, and I like you,” you shift up the couch, trying to put distance between you and him… or, you and… it.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, you didn’t seem to be having too good a time,” he sits in the spot you just were and watches you squirm slightly, before he simply places his hand on your ankle and you still, paralysed, “Looked like you wanted to enjoy the scenery, and I kept thinking, ‘She should have come alone.’”

You had wanted to come alone; though you loved Natasha and Yelena, they weren’t much into exploring, preferring to stay at camp around the fire and stick to the set hiking trails, which, absolutely, you enjoyed, but they didn’t want to stray too far from the set paths—though the location was remote, it was by no means unpopular, and everyone pretty much knew the safe places to stay. One night you had taken a stroll, and could have sworn you felt eyes on you.

“Your friends… they seem nice, sweet, even. And they were.”

The way he annunciates sweet. And… they were sweet? You don’t get a chance at exactly comprehending him until he interrupts your thoughts in less than a moment,

“But I know you taste better.”

You gasp and push away further as cold fingers wrap around your ankle, but he’s pulled you down and is on you in a second, hovering above you with a smile; teeth impossibly white with… fangs.

He leans down and presses a kiss to your bleeding temple, pulling back to look at you with red lips. He flicks his tongue out and nearly moans at the taste, still grinning down at you.

Adrenaline coming from you don’t know where, you pull your knee in and punch up hard against his groin. He nearly falls on top to you with a grunt as he clutches his crotch, but you roll aside and tumble to the floor, hastily standing up as you dart for the door, manoeuvring around the coffee table and knocking stuff off the mantle of the fireplace in your rush to get to the exit. Of course he’s faster, blocking the exit and pushing you down.

You shriek as you fall backwards, actually nearly falling into the fireplace, and he lands over you, skilfully sticking out his arms on either side so he doesn’t crash into you. With really nowhere to go but into the fire, you try to shift down underneath him, but he painfully grips your neck and tugs you back up, holding your head just above the fire. You grasp at his grip on your throat with one hand and hold yourself from dropping into the flames with the other, your elbow dangerously close and heating up, and strands of hair coming loose—you wonder how your hair hasn’t caught fire.

“How many men have said they’ll love you forever… and how many really can?” he questions, to which you can barely even hear through your circulation cutting off and the imminent danger of being burnt alive, “You know what I am,” he continues, lowly, dropping his lips to your ear, “You know what I can do.”

When he pulls away, you notice the steel blue eyes you had not known well have turned to a red, and that you feel like you know all too well; eyes that have been watching you.

He swings you down underneath him and you fly through his legs, gasping for air. Your head hits the wooden floor hard and starts up that ringing again.

He lifts you up easily and holds you to his chest. You struggle in his hood as he tries to calm you; “I saved you, remember? I’m not gonna hurt you; I could have left you to die, but I didn’t, see? Because you’re special, so special…”

You’re not sure where he’s walking to until he tosses you onto a bed. You can’t even bounce against the mattress before he’s got a knee between your thighs and has gathered your wrists into one of his hands, holding them above your head. You struggle underneath him, but he still he continues in a gentle voice, “I saved you, you owe me—in fact, this benefits you; I can make you feel good, you need it, angel.”

“Bucky, no,” you say, firmly, but he might as well not have heard it.

He brings his other hand down to rub circles on your thigh.

“You’re warm,” he notes, though you assume just about anything is warmer than him—he’s so cold it burns, like dry ice.

You (nearly) regret wearing shorts when he runs his cold hands up your thighs; you shiver, and not because of the cold.

There’s something so… otherworldly about his touch; it’s foreign, yet so familiar it scares you. He shifts down and lightly grazes his teeth over your thigh. You whimper in anticipation, and he smiles against your skin.

“And you’re soft…”

He does it; his fangs pierce your thigh, and you wince at the sharp sting, but you just can not bring yourself to push him away, or even kick anymore, there’s some primal need to have him, that disgusts you, your body completely betraying you to give up to a man from fiction, old wives tales—that’s all vampires were supposed to be.

But you’ve got one between your legs.

He sucks, yet more gentle than you thought, and not for long, drawing blood from you in short intakes. After just a few seconds he pulls away and looks up at you with red eyes and a grin, exposed sharp teeth stained in a deep crimson.

This is quite literally the most danger you’ve ever been in; there’s no way in fucking hell you could escape a demon from there, from hell.

You press a hand to the thigh he bit, and bring your index and middle fingers up to stare at the two spots, watching as the red dots seep down to your palm with your mouth slightly open. You can not believe what’s happening, panic now really setting in.

It’s so odd, the juxtaposition between his soothing touches and dangerous nature. You’re near hyperventilating when he leans down to your neck. He pushes your hair away and brushes his lips against you, breathing steady, while you stare up at the ceiling, chest rising and falling so fast you’re afraid it may burst. You bring your left hand up to smack him away, but he catches your wrist and softly sets your palm against his cheek.

“Did I scare you?” he whispers, and you can feel him suppress a smile, “I do like my damsels in distress…” he drawls, bringing his lips up to your ear, “But you’ll be okay; I saved you. Remember, honey?”

You press your palm down harder, trying to hurt him, but that just pushes him to kiss your neck. You jerk away and turn over on the bed, but he’s there in a flash, elbow propped up on the pillow, holding his cheek in his propped up hand.

“How many men have told you they’d love you for eternity, and how many really can?”

He raises himself up over you, and now he’s looking ravenous; you’re afraid he will literally devour you. Never breaking eye contact, he rips your shorts straight off, and tosses the torn fabric. He brings a hand between your thighs and lightly drags a cold finger over your slit, wet, to your embarrassment.

You expect him to mock you as he raises an eyebrow, but he quickly drops it and brings his hand up to run down the side of your face.

“It’s okay,” he coos, “You know you need this.”

He’s naked before you realise it, fair skin complementing his six pack and strong arms—you don’t stand a chance. He rips your shirt off, and you gasp at the fabric sliding against your skin, leaving you exposed to the relatively warm air of the cozy cabin, but your nipples still perk.

You manage to look at him: he’s fucking huge.

As if reading your mind, “You can take it,” he assures as he slips your underwear off before lining up with you.

Slowly, he enters you with a low groan, and you gasp, instinctively wrapping your legs around his waist and grasping at his back, trying to gain some bearings at the intrusion, whimpering. He starts to move at a slow pace, almost like he’s trying to restrain himself, panting as you squeeze around him.

He drops his head to your shoulder, his breathing heavy on your neck as he praises you, “Fuck, you’re so warm… feel so good, you’re doing great for me, angel… doing great.”

He can barely speak through his groans, but either way you can barely hear him, his voice drowned out by your moans as he thrusts into you at a steady enough pace, but still you can hardly take it; this is a different kind of pleasure—as he hits you in just the right spot again, and again, and again—but you can’t figure out why, and you don’t even care, breathing hard as you dig your nails into his back.

He presses his lips back to your neck, and your nerves scale up for a second when he starts harshly sucking, but only to leave a hickey, for sure.

“Bucky,” it’s such a broken plea you wonder if you even got his name out coherently.

“Can you come for me? Can you do that?”

He brings a hand down to circle your clit as his breathing becomes ragged and thrusts harder.

“I- Fuck!” you cry as you convulse, back arching up as you clench down on him. Seconds later he reaches his high, cursing as he comes inside of you, trying to catch his breath with a smile on his face, admiring your wrecked state.

“Good girl,” he breathes, “You did so well, angel.”

You try to turn over, but he grips your hip and pushes it back down, forcing your body to face back up at him.

“I can last forever.”

✪

[saintslewis]

❝ 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐃 | 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒 ❞

pairing: sir lewis hamilton x black fem!reader

summary: it has been a dream to have the perfect family but a nightmare occurs and you question the love you receive.

warnings: angst, mentions of death, descriptions of pain, loads of crying.

saint’s team radio 🎀: we’re getting sad with this one!! buckle up and thank you anon for requesting this! <3 sorry for any typos!

tags: @non-stop-imagines @arshiyuh @queenshikongo3 @mauvecherie-writes @lorarri @goldsainz @exotic-iris13 @alika-4466 @yeea-nah

pls like, reblog and comment! 🤍

The nursery was filled with so many gifts from the baby shower that you felt tired just at the thought of organising it all.

Looking up at the wall, her name was painted in light pink paint with cursive that you insisted would make you smile. Her cot was filled to the brim with stuffed animals that you guaranteed would last her a lifetime and just at the thought of your little princess entering the world in six months made you rub your belly with happiness, feeling her slightly kick as if to say “Hello.”

Oh you could just remember the exact moment you found out you were pregnant, the look on Lewis’ face was filled with love and adoration. Thanking you for bearing your child, the start of the family the both of you had been dreaming about. The gender reveal was celebrated intimately, the simple slice of the cake revealing the pink sponge cake within, the tears overflowing at the thought of you having a baby girl. The world finding out that you were expecting a picture of the slice of cake with a little onesie next to it, causing a frenzy at the sight of the 8 time world champion and his wife celebrating a new life soon.

The memories were as sweet as can be, Lewis being there every step of the way. He would panic when you weren’t by his side during race weekends but he knew you were in the comfort of your family and friends and that you were loved beyond measure. His love towards you was always growing stronger every day, his excitement for his family had always caused butterflies in his stomach. He hugged you every chance he got, he spoke to your pregnant belly with the softest of voices and your heart swelled up.

You were both more than ready to begin parenthood with each other.

Sitting down on the couch with a few groans, you reached for the remote whilst Lewis was in the kitchen making an afternoon snack. It was a chill afternoon, a few phone calls from your friends here and there but it was spent in the comfort of your home. You carefully placed your braids into a bun and in that moment, you felt a slight cramp around your womb. Taking it as a sign that you were most likely dehydrated, you stood up to get a glass of water.

“Babe, are you okay? D’you need help?” Lewis asked, slowing down his chopping up of fruits to watch you walk into the kitchen. “Yeah I’m good. Just felt a normal pain. Don’t stress.” You reassured him, walking quite slowly as you felt the pain coming back.

You managed to make it to the island when the pain hit you stronger than before causing you to hold onto the marble surface, your legs weakening as you continued to stand. “Y/n, let’s sit you down. I’ll get whatever you need.” Lewis said, coming around his side of the island to help you sit down but you waved him off, barely able to construct a coherent sentence.

“Please.” You managed to let out before groaning loudly, holding onto your swollen belly. He was stressing out, holding onto your hands as he began to guide you towards the couch. One step out, you let out a scream of pain, your legs giving out on you but Lewis was there to catch you. Now carrying you onto the couch, he gathered all the cushions to make you a little comfortable.

“I think I’ll go get the car ready for the hospital.” He said, holding onto your face as tears rolled down in every direction. One hand on your belly and the other on his hand, you cried out in pain. “She’s n-not moving, Lew.” You croaked out, the worst thoughts filling your mind. Was your baby okay? Could she feel the pain that you were experiencing.”

“No, my angel. Don’t say that, please don’t say that. She’s okay, our baby is okay.” Tears filled Lewis’ eyes as he tried to convince himself and you that all was okay. Your eyes were squeezed shut as the pain spread across your lower waist, your hips aching. He looked all over your body for any signs of shaking and once his eyes got to the crotch of your white cotton pants, his heart dropped. Blood slowly spread and he didn’t want to think of that. Nothing could’ve prepared him to experience this. You both have done everything by the book, everything to keep your little princess safe.

Lewis couldn’t think of the worst. Maybe these pants had been this stain for a while but he knows better than anyone that you would know of any stain on any of your clothing. He was panicking, he was stressed. He couldn’t let this happen, not after the both of you had been dreaming of your own family.

He grabbed the nearest car keys and picked you up bridal style once again and carefully rushed you to the large enough car, laying you down onto the backseat as he rushed back inside to get your hospital bag and both of your phones. Everything was a blur, driving off to the nearest hospital, keeping the ac cold so that you could stay awake. Calling your mom to let her know, not wanting her panic but still warned her along with his mom.

Rushed you into emergency. Parked the car. Watched you roll away on a stretcher, barely awake but your hands still held onto your belly. 40 minutes. In that moment, your mother arrived and so did his. Your best friend arrived and so did his. Your younger sister gathering her tears and carried one of your baby’s stuffed animals as a source of comfort. Everyone was waiting in the waiting room, trying to console Lewis but he wanted to be as calm as he could be. For your sake.

Dr Watts, your paediatrician, rounded the corner of the waiting room with a tissue patting her tears as she stuffed it into her scrubs. She had made eye contact with Lewis and right in that moment, he knew.

“Uhm everyone, Y/n unfortunately suffered a miscarriage. We had to extract the baby from her womb, it was internal bleeding from the womb and I will let the father of the baby know of other information.” She sniffled. Dr Watts had been helping you throughout your pregnancy, how excited you were for motherhood and seeing that being taken away from you was heartbreaking.

“Does she know?” Your mom spoke up, rubbing Lewis’s shoulders as his head was in his hands. Shaking her head, the paediatrician spoke up. “Y/n is very close to waking up. Two people can be in the room with her.”

The walk to your hospital room was dreadful, everyone else staying behind to let you and Lewis have this moment together. Your eyelids felt heavy but you still managed to keep them open, your husband holding your hand with drips connected to it. His eyes looked empty, only moving to look at you with a look you couldn’t quite grasp. Watts gathered up the courage to tell you the bad news, your stomach dropping at the moment you heard that she had already let your body.

“I killed my own creation.” You whispered but Lewis heard you and immediately shook his head. “Sweetheat, it is not your fault. Please don’t blame yourself, I’m begging.” He tried to help but he had very little strength in him as well. “She’s gone forever. I caused her to leave. I walked around and ruined everything.” You rasped out.

It was inevitable that you were going to blame yourself. Your bump slowly started falling as you cried to yourself all night. You chased everyone out, keeping your hand encased in Lewis’ as he cried alongside you.

Once discharged from the hospital, you felt suffocated by your thoughts. You hadn’t spoken to anyone, not even the doctor and not even Lewis who was losing his mind over you going non-verbal. He knew you made your late daughter your entire life and to see the light get sucked out of you was heart-wrenching. You reached home and sat in the nursery with him, crying your heart out but still refusing to speak. You slept there for most of the week after, you ate there and one night, you faced Lewis.

“I’m sorry.” You spoke softly as you leaned over to hug him. Without hesitation, he welcomed you into his arms and you felt the love he was giving within your soul. You now knew you were loved beyond words when you were around him. “Don’t be sorry, I’ve got you forever.” He reassured you, kissing your forehead and slightly tightening his hold on you.

saint speaks: omg y’all i cried while writing this, hope y’all enjoyed!

[tragedybunny]

Pretty Baby 2

༺Summary༻

Astarion is a brat on several occasions and is duly punished for it. In between, he and Mommy (Fina) deal with some emotional issues.

༺Pairing༻ Astarion x Tav

༺Warnings༻ NSFW - PiV Sex, Anal Play, Femdom, Mommy Kink, Feminization, Forced Orgasm, Chastity Cage, Porn with Feelings, Porn streaming, Pegging, Astarion being a brat

༺Word Count༻ 3783

༺A/N༻

So, it's chapter 2 of a fic I never planned to write. Lol. And somewhow now we've got plot and feelings involved. Hope you all enjoy, I had a lot of fun writing it. And huge thank you to the best of betas and friends, @icybluepenguin

The chat is populated by Tav's and other characters from my friends, they all helped makes this a delight.

Check out two similar fics if you dig mine. Decadent Torture and Careless Whisper

Read On AO3 Chapter 1

“Hush, a little more, then your punishment is over.” I let go of his cock, turn off the plug vibrating in his ass, and give him a short reprieve. 

Drawing gasping breaths, he looks up at me with pleading, tear filled eyes. God, his eyes are pretty; startling crimson, soft, and round. Normally, I cave when they're all watery like this. But not tonight - tonight is for lessons. 

I play with the little pink bow on his white thigh high stocking. Leaving him with only those, his white bra, and of course his collar, made him such a fetching picture for our little teaching session.

He'd spent most of the night on his knees in the naughty corner, those stockings peeking out of his pleated white skirt, a little pink cashmere sweater completing his look. I'd posted a few pictures that had his audience nice and worked up.

Demi_g0ddess: oh looks like Little Star was very bad today can’t wait to see what Mommy does to the little brat Bookworm420: didn’t realize Mommy was a thicc queen this might be too much for my ovaries

The chat had been crowded when we set up for the stream. Before the camera went on, I told him what to take off and how to prep, but not what I was planning. 

We went live and I made him give a little introduction. 

“I've had a very bad attitude lately and Mommy wants to make sure I'm thoroughly punished, so she's letting you all watch.” Every word was said petulantly as he leaned into playing the brat. 

Ari147: wonder what he did… Drag-onme: who cares, as long we get to watch the aftermath BardlockLongdick: is that a leather couch animal cruelty is not sexy.

“Go on,” I prompted, gesturing for him to get ready. 

The clothes he stripped were folded and set to the side, the chat cheering him on. When he kneeled down, I handed him a vibrating plug that made his eyes go wide. 

“Mommy, please…” he pleaded, but obediently went to work prepping and inserting it, cheeks flushed a deep red. I let him position himself in my lap, head propped on the arm of the couch. Then I started typing, Astarion watching with dawning horror.  

Mommy: Little Star has been an absolute brat about wearing a chastity cage while I’m out of town, because he wouldn’t be able to touch himself. So, tonight, I’m making him come as many times as I think he can handle. 

Demonbbyy: poor little thing got himself into a lot of trouble  TestyZesty: Mommy is way too nice about it but I’m still going to watch.

And here we were- Astarion, covered in his own semen, whimpering in my arms. I drag my finger along his cock, and he sucks in a shuddering breath. One more and I think he’ll have learned his lesson. I push the button on the remote for the plug.

“Fuck,” he whines the word. 

Penguino: aww, Mommy, I think he’s had enough  TestyZesty: nah, he’s still coherent  keep going Demi_g0ddess: Zesty, we’re sharing a brain cell  DrowDaddy: this chat is very mean tonight

I put a generous coating of lube on my hand and begin to work his shaft again. He pants and moans, desperate sounds falling from his lips as he builds to another orgasm. 

The chat continues to go feral as he whines and cries. I'm gentle this last round, languidly rubbing, letting the plug do its work. “That's it, one more for me. You've been so good for your punishment.”

He squirms at the praise, tearfully whimpering, hips weakly bucking as I take him to climax again. My other hand turns up the intensity on the plug. 

“Pleeeease,” he cries, voice ragged.

Another spurt of cum and he goes limp. I turn off the plug and lean down to kiss his sweat soaked forehead, letting him recover for a moment. He's so pretty like this, spent and helpless in my lap.  “Now, are you ready to apologize for being such a little brat the past couple of days?” 

He doesn't hesitate. “I'm sorry, Mommy,” he whimpers, tears running down his face. 

“Good baby. Almost done.” 

He tenses. “But...”

“Shh. They get to see because of the attitude.” He makes a noise. “Don't turn this into a spanking session,” I warn and he gets quiet. 

I take a warm, moist towel I'd set up earlier and clean up his pretty cock. The chat is losing it. 

KneelForMeSweets: and we get to see the cage  can he act up every night 

It's a pretty pink little chastity cage, just perfect for him. I slide the ring on first, then put the tube over his cock before locking it down. He's so quiet, I can hear every breath and the sniffles he's still fighting. 

Once they get a good look, I shut down the stream. 

Mommy: I'm going to go get this little brat cleaned up. Hopefully, he's learned his lesson.

Bitchybambi: I hope not, I want to see what you do next  KneelForMeSweets: she can DM me for ideas.

I kill the video and give him a proper kiss as he clings to me, spent and shivering. “Come on, you. Bath time.”

Astarion is unusually quiet during our aftercare session, and when he's settled into bed in a pair of oversized pajamas, I pull him close, and he snuggles into my neck on instinct. 

“You know, if you think it's too much to wear it, you don't have to.” I run my fingers through his curls and cover his face in soft kisses. He's done stints in the cage before, but I'm starting to doubt myself on this one. It would kill me to ever hurt him for real. 

He doesn't move; if anything, he burrows deeper into the crook of my neck. “It's not, and I am sorry for being a pain. It's just…”

He makes a small, frustrated noise and I keep petting him. “Take your time.” 

For a few minutes, he just takes shaky breaths, and then he speaks. “It’s this whole going back to school thing. I'm nervous, and you're going to be gone for the next two days. And what if this is a dumb idea and I can't do it.”

“It's not a dumb idea, you really like fashion design, baby. And why do you think you can't do it?” 

“Remember the last time I was in school? I failed out.” 

“Astarion, you didn't want to be a lawyer and you hated law school. You only went because Caz-” I feel him tense in my arms, “because he made you.” 

“I know.” He sounds teary again. “But it doesn't mean I don't feel stupid.”

“Love, my pretty little wife, you are not stupid. You’re capable and creative. And you know I won’t have time on this stupid team building trip, otherwise I’d bring you with.” 

“Still going to miss you, though.” 

“I know, baby. I’ll be back before you know it.”

The next morning, Astarion drives me to the airport. I put the keys for his collar and the cage in my jewelry box in case of an emergency or if it’s too much for him. It's cold and rainy, and he’s adorable in oversize sweats with sleepy eyes. After he unloads my bag, I pull him in for a hug and feel it pressed against me. A wave of lust courses through me; I can’t wait to come back and have a nice little session with him. 

“Call me when you land, Fina.” 

I don’t know if he realizes how much I’ll miss him. Astarion and I have rarely been apart since we met in grad school. It's just as hard on me to get on that plane and be without him.

We get one quick call before I’m off to the first of many “activities” the firm planned. I can’t be too angry about it, they pay a ton, and it finances my trophy wife’s lifestyle. I tell Astarion I’ll call him after dinner and karaoke hour. 

The whole day isn't that tortuous, and most of my coworkers get into the spirit of things for karaoke. I still make my exit as soon as I can to get some time in with Astarion. 

To my surprise, I see he's streaming. Sprawled out on the bed in a sheer black satin chemise that's ridden up his thighs enough to show off his beautifully caged cock. 

Instead of anything salacious, he's painting his nails. Not every stream is as action filled as last night. Some of them are just mundane things like now. I can’t fault the audience, I'd still pay to see him too, if he wasn’t mine already. I slide into the chat without announcing myself. 

Ari147: nothing fun tonight? :( 

“I’m afraid not, darling. If I don’t get any fun, neither do you.” He blows a cheeky kiss to the camera, and readjusts, spreading his legs more. One hand idly traces unpainted nails along a thigh while he blows on the ones he just painted. 

He’s such a filthy little tease. 

Mommy: glad to see you’re behaving yourself tonight

He sits up straighter, eyes lighting up. “Hi, Mommy. Missing all this?” His hand climbs higher, running up his abdomen to his chest. 

Demonbbyy: if she isn’t, I’ll take him   Mommy: settle yourselves down

Astarion leans over, getting on all fours to look directly into the camera, licking his lips. “Well, are you?” he pouts. 

Mommy: you know I am, and I’ll prove it when I get home 

His breath hitches. “That’s all for tonight, darlings. I want to give Mommy all my… attention.” 

The stream goes blank and he’s video-calling me seconds later. “Hi.” He smiles giddily. “I thought you might be a little later.”

“What can I say, I do actually miss you a lot. How was your day?”

We chat for a while and I watch him finish his nails, still in his chemise, which hides nothing as he shifts around. He seems less nervous about the school situation, which I chalk up to actually talking about it. 

“Alright, I should probably get to sleep. I’ll call you in the morning.” 

The morning call goes smooth enough, but the day is filled with seminars and an afternoon paintball session. Why do HR departments always think that’s a good idea? Astarion starts texting me around lunch, chatty little messages that I don’t have time to properly answer. Then the attitude creeps in. 

“Fine, if you don’t want to talk to me.”

“I. Am. Busy. Astarion. I’ll call after dinner.”

I forgot dinner is an awards banquet that traps me for longer than I’d anticipated. It never seems to end, and I start trying to text him during it. No response, and a part of me begins to stress that he’s not doing well. He’d tell me though if he wasn’t, I’m pretty sure. 

I practically run up to my room after dinner, skipping the cocktail hour after and all the great networking. All because he has me nearly panicked with worry. So of course, when he doesn’t answer his phone, I’m furious to find him on stream. 

He’s not actually wearing anything, sitting on the plush white rug, a cozy glow from the fireplace providing ambient lighting.

BaasaNova: weren’t you supposed to be in a chastity cage while Mommy is gone 

He gives his hard cock a firm stroke and moans dramatically, red eyes dancing with mischief. “If I’m getting ignored, I’m not going to listen. Besides, she’s busy, so what she doesn’t know isn’t going to hurt her.”

Bookworm420: this seems like a bad idea I don't want to see you get in trouble. 

It isn’t about disobeying me, or any other kink related thing. He really thinks I’d ignore him on purpose. And that stings like nothing else I've ever felt. 

I wait and lurk while he continues to touch himself. He's bubbly and flamboyant, basking in the praise of the chat. Normally, I'd be entranced by his hand working that gorgeous shaft, now I'm getting more furious. 

Finally, with an exaggerated cry, he comes all over himself. While his hand gives a few more lazy pumps, he glances at the chat. 

Mommy: I hope that was worth it 

His eyes get wide and he sits up straight. “Shit.” 

The stream dies just as he starts calling me.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…” he whimpers before I can say anything.

“Astarion,” I cut him off. “I want you to know that I still love you and that isn't going to change. But I'm so hurt and angry right now that you could decide I would ignore you on purpose.”

“Please, I just…” 

“No, we're not going to talk about this now. I'm going to give you until I get home tomorrow to get your thoughts together. But right now I'm too angry to talk to you. So I'm going to go to bed and will call you in the morning.”

 He sobs. “No, stay on the phone with me. Please, Fina.”

I sigh and relent. “I love you, Star.”

We lay in silence for a long time, the occasional sniffle coming from his end. Finally, I'm too exhausted and have to sleep, and reluctantly tell him goodnight.  

There's a subdued call in the morning and I tell him I'll get a cab at the airport, I don't think he should be driving while that upset. Then I'm on the way home. The anger has mostly worn off but this stunt of his still hurts. 

When I get home, hev hasn't left the bed, completely naked, almost hiding under the covers. I don't even think twice before getting under them with him and pulling him to me.

“I'm sorry,” he says softly into my neck, reminding me so much of the day we first kissed. The day I'd needed to take care of him after what Cazador had done to him. 

“I know. Tell me what happened.” I bury my face in his curls and kiss his head. 

“I started getting nervous again and started to panic, and I wanted to talk to you. And I got upset that I couldn't. I know you wouldn't just ignore me.”

“Then why didn't you say you were anxious? I could have made time if I had known you were panicking.”

“I didn't want you to think I was weak. Especially after you told me that you believed in me.”

“Astarion, love, you are always going to be one of the strongest people I've ever met.” My hands rub his back, fingers finding the scars of years of his adopted father's “discipline.” “I'm sorry too, I think I pushed you into something you didn't need while you were nervous. Even if you said you were alright with it.” 

He gets quiet for a moment before answering. “It isn’t your fault. You’re always the best you can be to me.” 

“Still, maybe we should take a break from some of the more performative things.” I feel him tense and kiss his cheek to reassure him. 

“No, it makes me so happy to be like that, to be so completely yours. Don’t take that away.” 

“Let's talk some more tomorrow. There's no need to rush anything.”

“Alright. And, well, you did say that you were going to show me how much you missed me?” His voice pitches soft and breathy. 

“Astarion, you horny little gremlin,” I tease. 

“Please, Mommy. I know I was very naughty, but don't I deserve a little treat?” 

I already feel slick between my legs, even if I'm not sure that I should let him do this. 

“I know what you're thinking, but I can handle some relatively vanilla sex right now. I want to be loved.” He gives me his best wide-eyed pleading look. 

“Alright, baby.” 

I sit up, and he helps me undress, leaving kisses wherever he can reach. My hand reaches out to wrap around his stiffened cock and give a few languid strokes. I catch his eyes wandering down to my breasts with naked longing. 

Relatively vanilla, he said.

“Come here.” 

I lay back, and he follows, slotting between my legs. His cock pushes into me as his lips latch onto a nipple, and he sucks frantically. “There you go.” I stroke his hair, and he starts fucking me with wild, desperate thrusts. “That's what you needed, huh, baby.”

He whines and sucks harder, teeth scraping until pleasure blends with pain. Molten heat builds in my core with each snap of his hips, and I doubt either of us will last long. 

“So good for me,” I pant as I feel myself contract around him and my body tingle with bliss. That does it, and he gives one last jerky thrust as I wrap my legs around his hips, pulling him in tight to take every drop of him. 

He collapses on top of me, still suckling, and I let him stay that way, fucked and comforted.

After a very nice Saturday in our pajamas, we talk and settle some things between us. Astarion is still very nervous about school in a couple of weeks, but doesn't want to change the things he loves about our relationship. He even insists on punishment for his bad behavior.

We agree on three days with the chastity cage, the two he originally was supposed to have and one extra. No clothing at home, so I can see it at all times. It kills me not being able to play with my wife's pretty cock. But you know, discipline hurts me more than it hurts him, or something.  

And at the end of the third day, a very serious lesson. So, I arrange something special, to be shared with his audience, like he shared his misbehavior. He's been waiting in the bedroom while I set things up.

“Safe word, wifey,” I order when I come to collect him. 

He stares at my too short, black latex dress with my pale pink strap-on visible where it rides up over my thighs, and blushes. “Objection.” 

“Good, baby.” I lead him to the living room where the camera is already at the right angle to watch as I bend him over the couch arm, pushing his face into the cushion right next to the waiting paddle. I watch him shiver with anticipation and spare a glance at the chat. They’re in rare form tonight. 

DM_ME_UR_SYRUP: Back from my two week ban just in time.  Thornyonmain: Hggnnnnnn, god he looks so good like that am I enjoying the impending pain too much Bitchybambi: Nah, he's asked for this  Demi_g0ddess : You're so right, bestie Penguino: Aww, you guys, have a little sympathy

Picking up the paddle, I run it over the curve of his ass and hear him whimper. My hand pushes down on his back, commanding and reassuring. The first smack is light and I give him a moment. He trembles but says nothing. 

Another one, slightly harder, he whines but doesn’t say anything. I keep going, watching his pale skin burst into red blossoms with each impact. I can feel him shaking under my hand and hear when he starts to cry. 

“You’re being so good,” I coo.

He sobs in response. It’s been awhile since he had a serious spanking session. I keep whispering praise as I go, letting him know how well he’s doing, how much I love him. He’s a teary mess when I’m done, and I can feel the warmth coming from his skin. 

“I’m sorry I was naughty, Mommy,” he whines through tears.

“Shh, shh, I know. I think you deserve a little reward for taking the punishment so well.”

l take the lube I have waiting and coat my fingers. He whines for a totally different reason when I spread him open and push a finger inside his tight hole.

“Fuck,” he mewls when the second one enters. 

He pants through clenched teeth while I work them inside of him, getting him ready to take me. Each stretch and flex draws a new noise and when he’s ready, I coat the strap in lube and press the tip of it against his entrance. Even with a stinging ass, he rolls his hips into it, desperate and needy. 

I gave him a little playful smack on the marks darkening to bruises. “Behave.” 

He yelps but stills. Slowly, I slide it into him, relishing each little moan as I fill him. Then my hips rock, and I thrust deeply, before stilling again. 

“Please,” he begs, desperately. 

“Please what?”

“Fuck me, Mommy.” 

I reward him with another deep thrust, and began to move my hips with a quick rhythm. Under me, Astarion is losing himself, keening wails and pleading whimpers accompany my every movement. 

I'm aware just how achingly empty I am; later we’ll take care of me. Right now, I focus on making him properly blissed out. 

I know his cock is straining against the cage, leaking helplessly, as he reaches the edge. My fingers dig into his hips and I fuck him as deep as I can until a wordless shout rips from him and his whole body is shaking again. I press my hips tight to his, as deep into him as I can while his orgasm ebbs away with multiple whimpers, only pulling out when he’s stilled. 

Turning back, I give the chat a good-bye and end the stream.

SquidDomme: He has in fact not learned anything DrowDaddyG: I think he'll try to be better, he's such a sweet boy BardlockLongdick: Maybe you all should try opening a Bible instead of this website DM_ME_UR_SYRUP: Anyone know how I can get an air horn noise to play in chat (I'm joking, please don't ban me again)

Then I remove the strap-on and save it for later clean up. “Come here, wifey,” I say, sitting on the couch. 

Sluggishly, he obeys, coming to rest his head in my lap. I run my fingers through his hair and let him come  down from the experience. 

“I love you,” he murmurs into my thighs.

“I love you too. No more bratty behavior, right?” 

I feel the little smirk he makes. “Absolutely, lesson learned.” 

We both know he's lying, but I trust none of it will be super hurtful again. “Good little wife.”

Tag list:

@micropoe10  @writingmysanity @mxxny-lupin @azu21

 @tallymonster  @dependsonthedream @sunfire-ancunin 

@bambamwolf87 @fayeriess @lumienyx @lisrelly

@elora-the-slutty-songstress @bhaalbaaby @spacebarbarianweird

@satanicspinosaurus @darlingxdragon @wanderingisobel @astarionsbeloved

@vixstarria @claryvoyantfray @misscrissfemmefatale @bg3obsessedsideblogg @captainaceofspades @wickedwitchofthewilds @asterordinary @talented-bitch @waking-electric @snowfolly

[drivinmeinsane]

Who is your favorite of the geese?

I'm going to cop out a little and say that I like K and Driver equally but for very different reasons. I'm also going to go a little into why I like these two so much. Fair warning, it's not going to be a remotely coherent explanation.

I knew I was cooked the moment I saw K kneel to pick up the cowslip. It drew sudden attention to his hands, and they are a major part of what tells the story of Blade Runner 2049 and who K really is. He had depthless compassion and curiosity even when faced with terrible adversity. There was never an act of violence for violence’s sake. Even in the end, emotionally devastated—destroyed—he never became jaded or cruel. The small things like how he interlaced his fingers, rubbing his thumbs over one another, or gripped his thighs when nervous also endeared him to me. As did his vices of smoking and drinking to aid him in feeling more normal. Even his attempts at domestic roleplay with Joi showed how careful and respectful of her. How he seemed to have a track record of lifting items from replicants he retired so they wouldn’t be forgotten also showed the depth of K’s personality. There are just so many facets to this character that I could wax on about him endlessly.

Driver is a mess and that’s a large part of the reason I love him. He’s a rizzless little weirdo with a big heart and a tangled sense of morality. He’s an emotionally muted adrenaline junkie that never seems to sleep and has to be doing something at all times. We see him with a cup of coffee three separate times and he’s going through toothpicks like a beaver, but the man refuses to smoke. He also doesn’t carry a gun, but uses his body as a weapon. He is both the scorpion and the frog in the river crossing story. He’s a shark, he’s a stuntman, he’s a werewolf, he’s a nosy neighbor, he’s my babygirl. His boss had to wingman him, but instead of having a sneaky fling with Irene before Standard got home, he adopted the whole damn family—wife, child, and husband. He tries so hard, but ultimately, he’s only good at keeping himself alive. He can only express his love through acts of service. He has to be of use or he will suffer from the lack of being needed. As with K, Driver’s story is told through his hands and the play of lights on his face. We’re not even going to talk about how I have a folder of images just of screenshots of things Driver owns plus notes on them because I’ve dissected this character under a spotlight so many times.

TLDR: Driver and K are my specialist blorbos and I’m incredibly unwell over them

[justkillingthyme]

hcs about the main characters when sick?

Rubs my hands together. You’ve activated my trap card (<has three uploaded sickfics and three more planned) lets fucking go

Hershel (post uni pre ls) would go to work. Wouldn’t exactly overexert himself to the point of exhaustion/passing out but he would just try and power through while taking it easy. Hershel post LS alternates between trying to work (and being cajoled into rest) and simply taking the day off to not risk others health and set a good example

Luke will take it easy when he realizes that he’s sick. Problem is that he’s taken up Hershel’s bad habit of running himself into the ground and ignoring himself to please others. If someone tells him to rest he’ll go down without a fight but it’s also the matter of Luke having little bodily awareness to realize that he’s sick in the first place instead of just feeling bad. I also think that he’s The Nefarious Crier when sick. Will bawl like a baby because he’s sick and feels bad (bad for all the emotionally constipated adults he hangs out with)

Emmy will run herself into the ground. She will go to work and fight god while running a fever of 104. Unless she’s passing out or physically tied to a bed, there’s no way her ass is resting. I think she has a pretty good immune system, so it doesn’t happen often, but when she gets sick it takes a while to recover. On account of her refusing to chill. She’s also very crabby and snippy when ill.

I think flora gets sick often. Naturally bad immune system plus isolation from living people for a good portion of her life means that someone could sneeze 50 miles away and somehow she’s sniffling the next day. I don’t think it gets particularly bad for her (mostly it’s just mild symptoms on and off). She’s not as emotional as Luke, but she’s easily swayed with her mood, and prefers company while she recovers. She does her best to avoid getting sick but doesn’t go out of her way. If someone in the house is sick, she’ll avoid them and won’t linger in their room or places they’ve been. But she doesn’t go all out vigorous cleaning mask in place.

Desmond got the worst pick of the genetic lottery (his dads face and his mom’s shit immune system). He does everything in his power to avoid getting sick because when he does end up getting sick it’s BAD. It’s never minor it always snowballs into something far worse and he knows that. When it’s just him and Raymond he’ll complain endlessly when it’s minor. Raymond my nose is stuffed up fetch me more tissues. Raymond I’m coughing make me more tea. But when it’s serious or he feels like he has important things to do he will hide it at all costs. AL Des has to pretend he’s normal and not germaphobic when anyone gets sick but internally he wants to put on a hazmat suit and use one of those garbage claws to move things around in the vicinity of the sick person. He also tries to downplay his illnesses when with other people so he doesn’t draw attention and worry others. He kinda just crashes in his room and doesn’t exit until he’s coherent (kinda similar when he gets migraines but this ain’t about that.) Raymond doesn’t let him have access to the medicine cabinet after The Incident so he has to suck it up every time and beg Raymond for cold medicine while seething because he’s a grown ass adult but also. It’s Raymond. And Raymond will know if he tries to just steal them. All powerful all knowing Raymond.

Randall complains endlessly while sick. Yes he will let you know at any point in time that he’s horribly sick and that’s why you should grab the remote that’s two feet away from him and within reach. But if he has something that he wants to do there’s no getting him down without a fight. He’ll go on an expedition while dying. Because no risk no glory or smth oh look a cool rock!

Henry will do anything to pretend that he’s not sick. Regardless of whether or not he recognizes that he’s sick, he’s not telling anyone and will simply work. Then work harder when he’s upset that he’s not at full efficiency. He could probably be coaxed to bed though.

Claire was normal about being sick, though kinda similar to Randall in that she might ignore it if her symptoms aren’t bad if she would be missing something important school or work-wise. But she knows her limits well.

[once-upon-a-stolas]

Here’s the one, guys. The one that I’ve been waiting for and I know a lot of you have been waiting for, and we should talk about all the things that have happened in the interim, we should view these through the the lens of the Kendraws screenshots, Millie’s brother, the transandrophobia/ableism screenshots...

We’re not going to be doing any of that. Not today. Let me have the memory of this one.

This incident starts off with Blitzo, undisguised and in plain view, being spotted and photographed by a human in the living world. To say that Stolas is annoyed would be a gross understatement; he’s pretty fuming, not even remotely playing around. It’s quite possibly the angriest we ever see him become, with the possible exception of the time a commenter suggested he rape Blitzo.

Now, before we get to the good part, it has to be said how important this is, because it speaks volumes regarding Before!Stolas and Blitzo’s arrangement regarding the grimoire. This was all taking place pre-Murder Family, and as said many times before on this blog, without expecting anything in return. Stolas simply allowed Blitzo to use his grimoire because he liked him, and in these posts, we see that his only condition was this: that Blitzo not do anything foolish with it. A condition Blitzo, being Blitzo, breaks.

That being the case, Stolas shows up at I.M.P.’s office, waiting for hours in the office to have a serious talk with Blitzo, who avoids him until Stolas makes it clear why he’s interrupting work hours, at which point Blitzo lets him in immediately.

And here’s, of course, where things get fun.

Blitzo lets Stolas lecture him for a while, and then whips out a remote controlled vibrator. Stolas is surprised, but needless to say, delighted. Blitzo is delighted. You’re delighted, I’m delighted, everyone’s delighted. The only one not enjoying this is Moxxie. 

(The commenters are also delighted, and that’s not a good thing. Just a quick scroll reveals that there are a lot of very, very young people in this crowd. I’d say at least half of them have no idea what’s going on here.)

Stolas would be within his rights to get extremely upset over this, but after all is said and done, he just tells Blitzo that he’s lucky he’s cute. Blitzo flirts back at him, saying Stolas is lucky Blitzo wasn’t recording him, Stolas is aflutter, and all is forgiven.

So, what does this very lighthearted, extremely fun incident tell us about Before!Stolas and Blitzo’s relationship? A couple of key things.

1. Blitzo and Stolas’s sexual encounter was not a one-off deal; the only way that this is able to take place is if Stolas is wearing a vibrator 24/7. 

2. Blitzo enjoys his sexual relationship with Stolas. He enjoys teasing him and is comfortable enough around him to do so.

3. Because the full moon deal doesn’t apply, they’re both doing this for no other reason than they want to.

We now know, by Vivzie’s own admission and the admissions of people who were close to her, that Vivzie writes by the seat of her pants and frequently changes things on a dime. We know, for instance, that Present Day!Stolas and Blitzo being childhood friends was a last moment pivot based on a piece of fanart she liked. This is, of course, not the way to write a coherent story, but it explains everything about Stolas’s wildly inconsistent characterization. The Stolas we saw bleeding out in today’s episode, love him or loathe him, is a completely different character than the Stolas who once crossed his legs and went brrrr.

And that’s why, the further away we get from that summer of 2020, the more important it becomes to me that that briefly lived iteration of Stolas is remembered for who he was, and his romance with Blitzo remembered for what it was. Because it was trusting, playful, healthy.

And it had remote controlled vibrators.

[bumblekastclips]

Sonic Bravo - Part 2

KYLE CROUSE: Here’s one from DDRMASTERM! “It’s the return of Sonic Bravo! With how poorly his advances went with Amy, he’s moved on to new targets. How does his flirt attempts with Rouge, Blaze, Jewel, Tangle, Whisper, and Lanolin go?” [chuckles] Dude, that’s too many names, you should’ve narrowed it down.

IAN FLYNN: Yeah, for a live show, let’s just pick the top three here, real quick. KYLE: Yeah. [moment of silence because it’s a live show and you can’t edit those out in real time] KYLE: Uh, you go for it. IAN: I didn’t get the whole list, so you— KYLE: Oh, Rouge. IAN: — you pick three names. KYLE: Okay. Uh, Rouge. Alright. IAN: I… pff, Sonic Bravo has zero chance. He is not remotely in her league, and he realizes that real fast. He’d roll up on her, [Johnny Bravo voice] “Hey there, pretty mama! I, uh, hm. I— I got nothin’.” KYLE: [chuckling] IAN: And she’s like, “No, you don’t. But you can leave anytime.” KYLE: Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. IAN: [as Johnny Bravo] “You’ll remember me! I’ll be back!” [as Rouge] “Oh, I’ll remember you, alright.” KYLE: [laughing] IAN: [continuing as Rouge] “And I’m sure you will be back… on your hands and knees.” [as Johnny Bravo] “Hey, if that’s what you want, pretty mama!” KYLE: [cackles] How about Jewel? IAN: [as Johnny Bravo] “Hey there, little mama, you’re all… sparkly and well put together, HOO-HA! How about you and me tour a museum?” [as Jewel] “That… that’s what I do. That’s my job.” [as Johnny Bravo, briefly awkward] “Ah… well, you know what they say. If you do what you love, you never work a day in your life!” KYLE: [chuckles] IAN: [as Jewel] “That’s surprisingly coherent, coming from you.” [as Johnny Bravo] “Thank you! Thank you very much!” KYLE: [laughs] And… let’s go Lanolin. IAN: [as Johnny Bravo] “He-hey there, pretty—” [interrupting as Lanolin] “No.” KYLE: [cackling] IAN: [as Johnny Bravo] “I didn’t mean to—” [interrupting again as Lanolin] “I know.” [as Johnny Bravo] “I just—” [as Lanolin] “Leave.” [as Johnny Bravo, let down] “...Alright then, be that way.” KYLE: Yup. [laughs] Kinda figured. IAN: And then later, someone’s like, “Who was that?” And Lanolin’s like, “Who?” “That guy you just blew off.” “There was a guy? I’m sorry, I think I just reflexively deflected something.” KYLE: [laughs, then makes the sound of a punch being deflected]

—— TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: Please remember that nothing that is said on BumbleKast is canon! It’s just some guys and their opinions occasionally spitballing ideas. If you don’t like an answer, you don’t have to take it as Word of God or anything like that. It’s all just for fun!

[2309analysis]

What do you think would happen if Tails Sails Mangey and Nine all interacted with each other?

See, I was thinking about this all week. Mainly due to my theory, and just the pure nature of Tails’ the Fox. His character remotely resembles a child; in both psychological, and emotional aspects. While he is physically a child, his brain and maturity level is not. Its far exceeds the average intellect and ability to comprehend. Making Tails’ far more complex than most people realize. So, I’m basically going to explain how he would really only be on his wavelength. Literally all will but the communication will be tad different with each counterpart of Tails’.

Starting with Nine:

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Tails’:

To me, he’ll be the easiest communication-wise. I think the two Foxes’ would be wary of each other; mainly due to Nine’s hard drive on not being compatible with Tails’s personality and his viewpoint of the world. Nine wouldn’t really want to get into Tails’s character, or really understand his tinkering. While, he has similar habits, and thought-process, I honestly think his openness and willingness/over-friendliness would honestly frighten Nine.

Moving onto the actual interaction between the two. I honestly think Tails’ just be nervous, Nine’s got a pretty judgmental attitude and defensive personality. Making it very hard to really understand his thoughts, which Tails’ usually doesn’t have problems with. ‘Cause everyone in his head is statutory, but himself? With another version of himself? Oh, boy, where does he even begin? He’d be the first initiator, due to anxiety eating him up. “Um… so, you’re supposed to be a counterpart of me? Heh, well, you do look a lot like me—“ “Just stop talking.” Nine would quickly shut him down at first. Mainly due, to the frustration of Sonic forcing them to do this.

“Err… do you at least want something to eat?” Nine just slowly turns his head, and looks Tails’ deadbeat in the eyes. “Nah, I’m good with this bark of wood. Thanks for asking.” I think Nine has a sarcastic defense mechanism around others’, (Sonic’s circumstances are diffrent) especially over people who try to know him. Which is hard for anime, it’s extremely out of his comfort zone; he doesn’t like interactions. Knowing this, he’s especially reluctant towards Tails’.

I think Tails’ will catch onto this extremely quickly; and back off. For a couple of weeks, it’s awkward, and very difficult to really know how the two feel about each other. Nine does soften up once he starts to catch Tails’ mind explore and invent endless amount of things in his meantime. I think this is where Nine is the first initiator. To Nine’s surprise, they get along well, especially when it comes to analyzing; making Sonic pretty relieved. 

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

Sails’:

Honestly, I would think they’d kinda ignore each other. Both well-aware and about how the other feels about each other, making it kinda hard for them to open up. Awkward, and tense when around each other. I’m talking about, a what if, this was all happening after the events of Prime. It’d still be this way, due to Nine’s lack of social awareness.

I still think Sails’ give Nine a chance. Like actively trying to hang out with him, ask him some small questions on how he invests or makes things. Small little interactions, at first, but I honestly don’t think they’ll become nearly as close as Nine and Tails’. Which isn’t much of a bummer, because Saul’s’ prefers other characters, like Amy, Tails’ himself, Sonic, and his captain, Dread.

They’d team up with each other, and fight alongside each other if they had to. They won’t be their first choice; but a reliable duo. They would trust each other with weapon-making, and temporary cooperations. Extra points, if they wink at each other to take initiatives, and smile about winning.

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Mangey:

The poor Foxes would never have a coherent conversation. Genuinely would not know how to interact with each other. Mangey is too savage and nervous to ever really properly calm down and actually sit with Nine. Nine’s too way and paranoid something bad is going to happen if they tried forcing him. The two are too mentally unstable to be able to handle each other’s emotions.

It’s like asking a baby to walk without falling. It’s a lot of trail and error. It’d take at least a month or two or them to even be on the same emotional wavelength. Mangey’s broken English and bad sense of social order makes Nine extremely uncomfortable. They try not to get angry or overwhelmed by each other; because they both understand that the other is trying. (Keeping in mind about the after events)

“M-me like y-ou.” “Huh… you’re improving. That’s excellent.” They will warm up with each other over communicating and improving speeches. Nine would basically become Mangey’s language arts teacher. Teaching him all the basics about talking, writing, and reading. Sonic will help by holding up pictures of simple things.

Next is Sails’:

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

Tails’:

He’s by far, going to be the most mentally stable and simple out of the three counterparts. Easily, because he’s pretty much mostly like Tails’ himself. Making things communication-wise a whole lot less stressful for Tails’. The only downside is the pirate talk. Tails’ might hinder with the new communication system; making it slightly harder for him to properly respond. Which won’t be much a of a problem, as it quickly gets solved, because Tails’ easily adapts.

Also, I think Tails’ would find it super interesting and unique. Making them probably the fastest to become friends. They’re buddies, they’re improving each other’s inventions, making sure the other isn’t lost. They’re practically brothers. They’d both keep each other company and joke around a lot. Making Dread kinda annoyed, because most jokes are inside jokes about highly complex things.

They’d keep each other’s back covered, if they would ever get into a fight. They would never abandon each other, and make sure they’re both are safe. They’d boost each other up and uplift themselves. Alongside of double teaming with Sonic and Nine! They’re unbeatable. Tails’ would also dork out about his helper hand. Finding it effective and extremely cool. Tails’ now has one he can use! Occasionally, though.

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

Mangey:

Honestly, same way as Tails’. It’d basically be like having a kid brother. Sails’ already took care on Mangey in season 3, but more normalized. Sails’ keeps Mangey out of trouble, and calms down his nerves. I would feel like Sails’ honestly follows Mangey around out of curiosity about his behaviorism. Constantly noting it, and the improvements, habits, etc.

Tails’ would definitely join in. Not making a habit of it, like Sails, would, though. It’s merely out of keeping him protected and innocent. As in, he’s never, ever, stepping foot inside Eggman’s factory or laboratory. Not unless it was extremely important, and Mangey’s friends were in danger. Also, it’d feel like belittlement after a while, and if Mangey showed enough attention-improvement, he could be sent on special missions.

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

Nine:

I think he’d be pretty indifferent about Sails’. Like Tails’. Like I said, it’d take a large while for them to warm up with each other. It’s not they actually don’t like each other; but they’re a tad suspicious of each other. Both tensed, awkward socially distant foxes. Nice combo… but Sonic turned things around telling them both to just take it slow.

They’re the slowest and subtler find than all of the other three. They just don’t notice each other, and it’s not a bad thing; but they have less appeal towards each other. They will work together, and share mostly the same opinions; and make sure that the other is okay, but that’s all.

Next is Mangey:

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

Tails’:

Tails’ would give him a lot of snacks. Plus, a bunch of stolen Chili Dogs from Sonic. The two would be usually spotted eating and going over simplistic ways to teach Mangey real communication with Nine. Both Nine and Tails’ would take turns with Mangey helping his improvement of social and personal development.

Sails’ helps with the emotional department, making sure he doesn’t get too overwhelmed. Tails’ acts like character for Mangey to see scenarios of conversations and situations. I feel like Mangey is a visual learner, so it’s ultimately easier for him to comprehend after seeing what happens. That also includes spying on others’, but mainly Sonic, and their friends.

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

Nine:

He would leave Mangey alone at first. Kinda steering clear, because he doesn’t really like unwanted attention or company. Knowing Mangey would give so much of that, he tries to keep off of his track, and kinda cower away. Not to be offensive; but because he’s not entirely used to having friends.

Not until he decided to give him the opportunity to grow. Once Mangey starts to show signs of large improvement of social skills, emotional maturity and development, Nine doesn’t entirely mind when he’s around. Since, by this point, Mangey sees Nine as a bigger brother.

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

Sails’:

He would voluntarily help Nine and Tails’ out making improvements with Mangey’s abilities and growth. Especially with the language and emotional support. Making sure that Mangey doesn’t get too overwhelmed by anything; he’ll also be the supplier of treats.

He would also help Nine come up with a series of quizzes for Mangey. Making sure all of the studying is actually sticking with him. Nine would create the question, Sails’ would make the answer. Tails’ help out giving small hints, and Mangey would get a treat if he doesn’t need any hints. He would get a whole snack, if he gets a 100 for the quiz.

Next is Tails’:

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

Nine:

The two would be awkward at first, but the more they found in common about each other’s habits, they became more comfortable around each other. I think Nine would be emotionally tired, and deprived of any sort of intimacy with love; and Tails’ deeply understood this. Instead of Sonic being Nine’s only friend and well, savior, Tails’ basically became his newest friend.

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

Mangey:

As I have said this over and over again, (lmao) Nine would advise, commit to Mangey’s growth. Finding some joy out of seeing his counterpart grow, and improving. It makes him feel like he means something more rather than something of nothing. Tails’ sorta feels the same way; and it makes them more comfortable and less anxious around Mangey. Mainly due to the wavy their shatter verses are; it’s hard for all four of them to collectively get along at the same time.

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

Sails’:

They would love each other. From intelligence to little quirks about certain things. Tails’ would indefinitely make little gadgets for all four; but mainly Sails’. They would have the most in common with each other. They’re little collaborations with each other to make each other’s lives in their own verses easier. Especially for Nine. Like, face-timing each other, occasionally, send each other a bunch of letters.

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

I’ll whiff up headcanons later over them. They’re such a cute couple of interactions; but I wouldn’t mind adding some angst to it next time. Those will most likely appear in a few headcanons. Thanks for this question; it was really fun writing this out, especially individually! (I love making myself suffer)

This is them.

[ddarker-dreams]

hxh chapter 395

IT HAS BEEN 22 YEARS SINCE CHROLLO WAS FIRST REVEALED IN THE MANGA... 23 SINCE HE WAS FIRST MENTIONED... AND FINALLY........ WE ARE GETTING HIS BACKSTORY . all in god’s (togashi’s) timing. i literally couldn’t believe my eyes when i woke up to baby chrollo on the tl wednesday morning. i’m just now getting the time to scribble down all my thoughts that have been haunting me since then. is any of what i’m about to say coherent? probably not. i’m just so excited that i can barely put it into words. like. how am i supposed to function. i sure don’t know. i’ll put all my screaming + rough analysis under the read more then summarize what new things we learned about chrollo and the phantom troupe. idk how to format this so i’m sorry for anyone who braves the abyss below. anyways , without further ado ... 

(the link to the chapter for anyone who is curious)

nobunaga frames the flashback with the statement “fueled by despair and anger, we were searching for a purpose...” which more of less confirms the widely accepted notion that the phantom troupe was formed to give these people something to do. after reading that, i was expecting to go into some depressing stuff right away, but instead we get to see the baby phantom troupe members kinda roughhousing each other? acting like lil rascals. so i’m assuming nobunaga’s statement comes into play a bit later. 

the spiders seem to have been split up into smaller cliques before they eventually formed together, these groups being chrollo/franklin/shalnark (HIS LIL MISSING TOOTH OH MY GOD), machi/uvo, and phinks/feitan. 

this more altruistic viewpoint further convinces me that something major must’ve happened for chrollo’s worldview to shift so drastically. here and throughout the rest of the chapter, we can see him championing the cause of sharing knowledge with others around his age instead of hoarding it. this immediately sets him apart from the uvo/machi and phinks/feitan cliques who want to keep anything remotely valuable to themselves. Hmm.  

i could be wrong, but the architecture of this church having crosses + pews seems reminiscent of the abrahamic religions, leaning more toward catholicism perhaps? this must play into chrollo’s fascination with catholic aesthetics in his adulthood. it seems that compared to the rest of meteor city, this church was somewhat of a safe haven. 

NGL it’s kinda funny little baby chrollo looked @ phinks and uvo and went hm. yeah those dudes are definitely not the church crowd. baby chrollo being able to teach himself various languages just from watching tapes that everyone else his age finds too boring to sit through though... he’s always been a little genius. interestingly enough, the compliments on his intellect never seemed to have gotten to his head? he always took them in such a good-natured way. he seemed like such a kind boy... meteor city’s elders mention how bright he is in the next page too. i wonder what they expected from little chrollo though? 

“perhaps he could be of use to the elders? you think he may be able to solve the problems plaguing the city...” 

very curious to know if they meant now or when he’s older. anyway, the elders took an interest in him from a young age, only for chrollo to completely disregard them when he became an adult (chrollo stealing one of their abilities for his fight against hisoka). 

i’m in ABSOLUTE agony. while this interaction is so cute, i can’t help but think about how paku prioritized chrollo’s life despite his philosophy that ‘the head of the spider [himself] can always be replaced’, which lead to her own death 🙁 OUCH OUCH IT HURTS... her care for chrollo and the troupe ran so deep. now we get to kinda see why. chrollo so brazenly telling paku that he loves her when it’s very likely she’s rarely (if at all) heard those words growing up in a place like meteor city......................... ah...........AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

HE’S A LITTLE GENIUS!!! LOOK AT HIM GO !!! 

‘no way he was born here...’

it makes sense that chrollo ended up getting voted to be the leader of the troupe since his intelligence has been universally praised all along. a smart lil guy. i really can’t get over the fact he did all this just so the other kids could understand/enjoy the cartoon more 😭😭😭 that just leaves me with the same, pressing question that machi has here... 

‘is that chrollo?’ 

she must’ve been shocked to see him go from :D to :| ........... what happened to my MANS...

[zahri-melitor]

I’m having a lot of thoughts about Messner-Loebs’ Wonder Woman run, and trying to quantify them in a coherent manner.

Part of the problem is setting out clearly in my head what’s dated, what’s offensive, what’s Loebs trying his best (and failing), what is partly a complete lack of language to explain what he’s describing, what’s giving me 1970s political feminism vibes, and so on.

Mostly what I want to do is provide multiple lectures on intersectional feminist theory from the future, because the most frustrating part of reading this is I can see where Messner-Loebs is trying. Frequently failing, but despite a large amount of misogyny, he pretty obviously was thinking about writing women.

First point, and the one that’s going to be a sticking one for a lot of people: you are not going to enjoy these stories at all unless you can think of them as historical period pieces. The way Messner-Loebs thinks and writes about the concept of gender and of women is going to catch you off guard, if you try to come into this expecting to see anything even remotely current reflected. He’s actually lucky in that due to being sensible enough to avoid a lot of feminist and gender terminology and instead simply portray concepts, he’s managed to sidestep getting frozen in amber using language that would get him cancelled today.

That said, Messner-Loebs clearly sees misogyny as a challenge that women and the Amazons as a race have to face head on. So there’s a lot of depiction of it, both deliberately and in passing. The fact that his opening storyline on the series was heavily based in the sexual violence implicit and explicit in becoming the host for a female demon ‘wife’, followed up by a space adventure revolving around a gender-divided species who hate and enslave women…it’s not subtle, and it’s a slog to get through.

Messner-Loebs can’t decide if he wants to write “Diana: she’s just like you, with the same problems YOU have” or as an Amazonian Warrior. So he sort of vacillates between the two in the most awkward manner (back to back ‘space pirate queen’ and ‘working in fast food as she needs money’ is pretty eye-rollworthy, as is ‘assassins but we’re discussing Etta getting anorexia for her wedding dress’).

I think it’s interesting and infuriating in equal parts and has me stopping to work out my feelings frequently.

[walkawaytall]

Theory: you survive on two hours of sleep a night in order to be able to write as prolifically and well as you do. And my follow on question is, are you a vampire? 🧛‍♀️ (yes, I’m being 100% silly)

Hahaha…more like five or six hours a night, though I’m trying to increase that (being between jobs has involved a lot of going back to sleep after feeding the cats and/or eating breakfast tbh). I can sort of function once on four hours of sleep, but that’s just basic survival functioning, not communicating coherently, and I’ll need more the next night if I want to feel remotely human. Less than four, and I might as well just not sleep at all.

But, also, I’ve had very few hobbies other than writing for the past year and a half or so? And my house is far messier than it should be. And I have zero other humans depending on me in any big way. Which are some of the reasons I’ve been able to write the way that I have been 😂.

I make jokes all the time that my preferred life is that of a vampire in the sense that I actively dislike sleep and also don’t have any great love for food in general (thanks, ADHD 🙃), so if those things could be relegated to something I participate in when I feel like it rather than being constant needs for my fragile body, that would be ideal. (I actually used to love cooking and have wanted to try to rediscover that love. But I often barely care about the product of said cooking. I dunno. There is a disconnect in my brain regarding food, I think. I really enjoy a handful of very specific things, but when people I’ve known have talked about just loving food in general…I can’t relate. So. Vampire life sounds great. Minus the blood drinking.)

[timeless-fanfic]

Unexpected Distractions

Word Count: 1358

Andrew x Reader

Note: Someone requested a one-shot of a look into Andrew's thoughts during his first meeting with the reader! Here it is!

It was a normal day in Capernaum, or at least it should have been. The marketplace was as busy as ever, the air thick with the smell of freshly baked bread and dried fish. I’d just finished helping my brother, Simon, carry a load of supplies for the day’s work. Normally, I’d be focused on the task at hand, not much for distractions. But today—today was different.

I first noticed her standing near a stall selling pottery. She wasn’t from around here; that much was clear. Something about the way she carried herself—confident but not overbearing—caught my attention. Her movements were smooth, deliberate, like she always knew exactly what she was doing. As she picked up a simple clay jar, examining it closely, I found myself... watching.

I don’t know why I couldn’t look away. There was something about her that drew me in, like a quiet force. I shook my head, trying to push the feeling aside. There was work to be done, and Simon was already giving me a look like I was slacking off.

But then, before I could regain focus, I heard a voice behind me.

“Andrew, are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

I turned to find Philip grinning at me, his eyebrows raised in amusement. Of course, he’d noticed. He always seemed to catch me at my most vulnerable moments. Beside him, Thaddeus chuckled, crossing his arms as he followed Philip’s gaze to the woman I’d been watching.

“She’s quite something, isn’t she?” Philip nudged me playfully. “I’ve never seen you this flustered before. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’m fine,” I muttered, clearing my throat. “Just... distracted, that’s all.”

“Uh-huh, sure,” Thaddeus added, his smile widening. “You’re distracted by something, alright.”

I wanted to deny it, to tell them they were being ridiculous, but my face felt hot, and I knew I wasn’t doing a good job hiding my reaction. Simon always said I was too easy to read, and now I was proving him right in front of the others.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, perhaps a little too quickly.

Philip leaned in, lowering his voice. “You should talk to her.”

“What? No, no, that’s... unnecessary,” I stammered, rubbing the back of my neck. “We’ve got work to do. Let’s focus on that.”

But neither of them seemed inclined to let it go. Philip nudged me again, more forcefully this time, while Thaddeus crossed his arms, watching with a smirk that said he wasn’t buying my act for a second.

“You’re already thinking about her,” Philip teased. “Why not go say hello? It’s not like you to hesitate.”

I was about to protest again, but then she turned toward us, and any words I had dried up in my throat. She had a calm presence, yet her eyes held a sharpness, like she saw everything and understood more than most people would notice. I felt a knot tighten in my chest. I wasn’t usually like this around anyone, much less someone I’d never met before.

Before I knew it, Philip was pushing me forward, and I stumbled a little, catching myself just in time. “Go on, Andrew. Don’t make us do all the talking for you.”

I shot him a glare, but it was no use. The two of them were clearly enjoying this too much.

I took a deep breath and walked over, trying to muster some semblance of normalcy. “Uh... hi.”

Smooth, Andrew, very smooth.

She looked up from the pottery in her hands, meeting my eyes with a curious tilt of her head. “Hello.”

There was a brief, awkward pause, the kind that always feels much longer than it actually is. I struggled to think of something to say that wouldn’t make me sound completely ridiculous. But of course, before I could say anything remotely coherent, Philip and Thaddeus followed behind me, clearly not content to let me flounder on my own.

“Andrew here was just admiring the pottery you were looking at,” Philip said with a sly grin, clapping me on the shoulder.

I shot him a look that I hoped conveyed my irritation, but he only smiled wider.

“Oh?” she said, glancing between me and the jar in her hand. “You have an eye for pottery?”

“I—uh, not really,” I admitted, feeling my face heat up again. “I was just... noticing... things.”

“Noticing things,” Thaddeus echoed with a chuckle. “Very specific.”

I glared at him this time, but it was no use. They were clearly having too much fun at my expense. I turned back to her, desperately trying to salvage whatever was left of my dignity.

“I’m Andrew,” I said, offering a hand. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you. I just—uh, it’s nice to meet you.”

She smiled, taking my hand in hers, and I couldn’t help but notice how her grip was firm, confident. “It’s nice to meet you too, Andrew. I’m [Y/N].”

Her voice was calm, steady, and it had this way of making me feel like I was the only one she was focused on. I could hear Philip and Thaddeus snickering behind me, but I ignored them. For once, I didn’t want to be distracted by their teasing.

“So, do you live here in Capernaum?” I asked, trying to steer the conversation toward something normal.

“Not exactly,” she replied, setting the jar back down on the stall. “I’ve been traveling for a while. I’m not really sure how long I’ll be staying.”

Something about the way she said it made me want to ask more, to understand where she was from and what had brought her here. But I didn’t want to come off as too eager.

“Well, if you need anything while you’re here, we’re usually not too far from the market,” I said, hoping I didn’t sound like I was rambling.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she replied, her smile widening slightly.

For a moment, we just stood there, and I couldn’t help but notice how easy it felt, despite the initial awkwardness. There was something about her that put me at ease, even though I was certain Philip and Thaddeus were both grinning like fools behind me.

Speaking of which, I could practically feel their eyes on me, waiting for me to say something else, or—worse—do something embarrassing. But, thankfully, [Y/N] didn’t seem fazed by their presence.

“Well, it was nice meeting you, Andrew,” she said after a beat, her gaze softening a little. “I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah,” I nodded, hoping I didn’t sound too eager. “I’ll see you around.”

She gave me one last smile before turning and walking back into the marketplace, leaving me standing there, feeling oddly dazed.

“Well, that went well,” Philip said, clapping me on the back again. “You didn’t trip over your words too much.”

“Could’ve been worse,” Thaddeus added with a grin.

I groaned, running a hand over my face. “Thanks for that, by the way. Really helpful.”

Philip shrugged, still smiling. “What are friends for?”

I shook my head, but I couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at my lips. As much as their teasing got under my skin, part of me was grateful for it. If they hadn’t pushed me forward, I probably would’ve spent the rest of the day avoiding the whole thing.

“Do you think you’ll see her again?” Thaddeus asked as we began walking back toward the shore.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “Maybe. She said she’s not sure how long she’ll stay.”

“Well, if she does stick around, maybe next time you won’t need us to push you into talking,” Philip teased, elbowing me lightly.

I rolled my eyes, but the thought of seeing her again made my heart race a little. There was something about her—something that made me want to know more.

“Maybe,” I muttered, not wanting to give them more ammunition for their teasing. “We’ll see.”

As we walked away from the marketplace, I found myself glancing back, just once, hoping that maybe—just maybe—I’d get the chance to talk to her again.

[fyonahmacnally]

Supercorptober2023

Day 2 & 3: Romance/Kara

The following two weeks pass by in a blur. Letting the team know about their trip went more smoothly than they anticipated. Once contingency plans are put into place and emergency protocols created, the two of them relax into the planning. Knowing Supergirl can still get back in true emergencies made things easier, but they certainly don’t want it to be the go-to. Both of them make sure their obligations are covered during their absence, Kara’s superhero and editor-in-chief duties are the easy part. Lena has to make sure her business interests are placed in reliable and trustworthy hands, a much harder task. 

With Lex’s presumed death and Lillain’s passing, all of the Luthor holdings fall back into Lena’s hands. She immediately makes some of the moves her previous self did back before the multiverse collapse. She renames the company to L-Corp, again, and fires all of Lex’s lackeys company-wide. After that, she brings Samantha Arias back on board as CFO. Then, she finds her old assistant, Jessica Huang. However, instead of making her executive assistant, she hires the feisty woman as L-Corp’s new COO. With the two of them in the C-suite, she is confident L-Corp and all its subsidiaries will be in good hands. 

With all the crucial things squared away, the two of them work on final checklists for what they need for a month in Ireland. Lena knows most of the everyday things are already stocked at the cottage and has spoken to the groundskeeper to make sure fresh groceries are waiting on them as well. They only need to focus on personal items, clothing, and toiletries. Given the remote location of the place, they likely won’t be needing anything fancy, but toss a few things in just in case.

As the days pass and their departure gets closer, they spend more and more time together. Things seem to be gradually morphing into what they used to be. Before the betrayal. Before the Phantom Zone. Before it all fell apart. The night before their departure, they’re laying on Lena’s bed joking and laughing like nothing has changed, like they’d always done this. It causes Lena to pause and her heart to race. 

Kara notices.

“Hey, are you okay?” Blue eyes scan across Lena’s face as she reaches out to place a hand on the long, slender pale fingers lying on the bed between them. “Your um, your heart is beating really fast.”

Lena cocks her head to the side and raises a perfectly sculpted brow in confusion, unintentionally changing the subject. “You can hear my heartbeat. Of course.” She chuckles, only just now realizing that her best friend has always been able to hear her traitorous heart. That she has likely known all along that her heart beats faster when Kara is near. “I guess I should get used to that since you’ve likely been doing it for years, huh?”

Kara ducks her head sheepishly, a rosy blush adorning her cheeks. “I’m sorry, Lena. I, um, I can try to stop? I don’t mean to. At least most of the time, but I…it just…” She sighs, running her hand down her face in frustration at her lack of coherence. “My brain does it automatically a lot of the time. It’s how I know you’re safe. Also, it’s, uh, one of the only things that helps me sleep. Especially now. It, um, it helps keep me calm. I’m really sorry. It’s kind of an invasion of your privacy now that I think about it.”

The blonde looks away, not sure what else she can say to make this any less awkward or creepy. She’s listened to that strong heartbeat for so long now, she’s not even sure she can stop. Not being able to hear it in the Phantom Zone was torture on top of the phantom visions and nightmares. 

A cold hand gently rests on her chin, pulling her gaze back to the conversation. 

“Well, I suppose technically, it is and I’m not sure how I feel about it. But…there’s a part of me that likes the idea that you find comfort in my heart beat.” She smiles and dips her head into her pillow, hoping it prevents Kara from seeing the blush creeping from her neck onto her cheeks. “Um, I guess I can relate? In a way, maybe? Your scent is kind of like that for me. While you were…gone, I slept on your couch and in your bed a few times. I just…I missed you so much. Your apartment was the only place that I could still smell you. The only place I could still feel you all around me. It was the only place I felt safe…because I felt close to you.”

Neither of them say a word, they both remain completely still and quiet for a long time after those words are spoken. An unwitting confession made. Blue and green eyes quietly watching the other until they fall asleep with their hands gently resting together between them. 

The morning sun rouses them from their slumber the following day. They both seem to open their eyes at the same time, smiling sleepily just as Lena’s alarm sounds into the room breaking the serenity. Kara groans and pulls the duvet over her head as Lena giggles at the Kryptonian’s antics. 

“Come on, Kara. You know we have to leave for the airport in an hour and if you want to stop and get breakfast on the way, we need to get up.” Lena pokes the woman in the side and pulls the covers away from her face. They both laugh as Kara lets out a whining groan. “I’ll buy you your favorite from Noonan’s.” She sing-songs the words and grins as she watches the blonde’s eyes light up.

Hopping out of bed, they get through their morning routines pretty quickly. It takes them about 45 minutes before they’re out the door and down to the waiting car, luggage in tow. Food secured and luggage loaded, they head to the private airstrip where Lena's personal jet is waiting for them. It’s been a while since she’s used this particular plane and she’s a little excited to show Kara. 

Lena exits the car and makes her way over to her pilot while Kara loads their bags. Once they’re buckled into their seats ready for take off, she reaches out for Kara’s hand. As much time as she spends on planes, takeoff never gets easier. When the plane is in the air and levels off, Lena squeezes Kara’s hand and unbuckles, gesturing for her to stand. She shows the blonde to the sleeping quarters and restrooms as well as where the snacks are. She smiles at the wonder on her best friend’s face and is briefly reminded of their trip to Kaznia before shaking the memory away.

The two of them fall into a comfortable silence for the next few hours, Lena reading through some new scientific research and Kara sifting through the contract Cat has been after her to look over. The two women are lost in their thoughts and prospective distractions until Kara’s stomach lets out a monstrous rumble. They both chuckle before Lena sits her reading aside and heads to the galley to heat the food she had placed on the plane earlier. Having only been in the air for five hours, she knows they still have eight more to go. She just hopes there are enough snacks on board to keep a Kryptonian stomach at bay. Loading the plates and drinks onto a rolling cart, she heads back to their seats to a grinning blonde.

She smiles as she watches Kara’s eyes sparkle and face brighten at the first bite of their late lunch. “This is actually really good, Lena. Lasagna?” She says, mouth still half full of food before she swallows and grins. “Where’d you get it? This is better than Eliza’s!”

“Well, that’s good to know.” She blushes and reaches out to take a drink of her wine. “I made it earlier this week and had it brought over so we could have something decent to eat on our flight. There’s a few other things in the fridge if you get hungry again later.” She gestures back toward the galley before focusing back on her plate. 

Kara’s eyes widen and she looks at Lena with such fondness and affection that the raven haired genius has to look away. “Y-you made this?!” She gaped at the woman sitting next to her. “Lena! I didn’t know you could cook. Why didn’t you tell me? You mean I could have been enjoying this for all these years! You’ve been holding out on me!” 

Lena can’t help but laugh and roll her eyes at the blonde. “If you think about it, Kara. There are a lot of things we never really talked about during our friendship. Maybe we can remedy that on this trip?” She swallows another drink of her wine and raises a brow at the now blushing blonde. 

“But yes, we’ve never really talked about my love of cooking, I guess. I don’t have a lot of time for it anymore. Or at least I didn’t. It’s something I taught myself when I finally had my own place in Metropolis. It was a way to be different from the Luthors.” Her eyes drift off as her mind thinks fondly of the days at her start-up, a bearded smile, and the man she once loved. She clears her throat and forces her mind back to the moment with a shrug. “I’ve always considered cooking as a kind of experiment, just with ingredients and not chemicals or prototypes. It seems to work in my favor.”

They finish up their meals and Lena takes the plates and glasses back to the galley. She takes a moment to clean and stow everything, giving herself a little break from being in such close proximity to Kara. Now that she is painfully aware of the fact that Kara can hear her heartbeat, she has to pay more attention to the way her body reacts to her best friend. 

Eventually, they both start to drift off to sleep. By the third time Kara’s head bounces off Lena’s shoulder, she decides they need to retire to the bedroom for the evening. It’s a good decision. Sleeping through the remainder of the flight makes the trip seem much faster. By the time they both wake from their nap, the pilot has come over the speaker and asked them to take their seats for landing. 

The rest of the trek to the cottage goes by in a blur. They arrive at the airport to an awaiting SUV and the cottage groundskeeper, a nice older gentleman named Liam Walsh. Liam helps pack them into the SUV and takes the wheel for the one hour drive to Islandmagee. He shows them some of the landmarks and recommends a few places they should visit during their stay. He also reminds Lena that he lives close-by and has the keys if she needs him to take care of anything during their stay.

As he pulls the SUV into the gravel drive in front of the cottage, he turns to Lena and smiles. “Here’s the keys to the vehicle, love.” He drops the keys into her palm and squeezes her wrist. “You look so much like her, ya know. Your mam.”

Lena’s mouth drops open. She wanted to ask Liam if he was related to her mother given his last name and the area he lives. “Y-you knew my mother?” She stutters almost too quiet to be heard. “A-are you kin to us?” She latches onto his large hand, desperate for any information she could get.

“Aye. Lizzie was my cousin. We grew up on this land. It’s been in our family for hundreds of years. You’ve got lots of kin ‘round here, love.” Liam smiled, patting Lena on the shoulder before opening the door to get their luggage out. “Why dontcha get settled in and rest. I’ll come by again in a few days and we can talk. No doubt you’ve got some questions.”

Kara reaches out for Lena’s arm, gently squeezing before whispering, “You okay?” She watches as a few tears roll down pale cheeks. The blonde bolts out of the backseat and pulls her best friend into a warm hug. “Come on, let’s get inside.”

Liam watches the two of them and smiles. He drops their bags on the small patio at the front door and steps aside. “Alright, love. My number’s on the notepad next to the phone in the den. Give me a ring in a couple days. I’ll come by and we can chat. Maybe have ya over for dinner to meet your cousins.” He winks at her and pats her shoulder again as he walks by, heading to his own car parked in the drive. “Glad to have ya here, Lena. I look forward to getting to know you.”

She is left speechless. When she spoke with Liam before their arrival, she was curious if he was related to her mother and by extension her, but she didn’t want to assume. Walsh is a common name. To know that she has blood relatives so close, people that actually knew her mother, it’s overwhelming in the best way possible. She’s looking forward to finding out more about this side of her family. However, right now, she wants to get inside the cottage and process the chaos of her emotions. 

“You ready to go inside?” Kara asks, cerulean eyes watching Lena with deep concern. “Today has been a lot. I’ll understand if you need some time to process things alone. I can make myself scarce if that’s what you need.” She wraps her arms around Lena’s shoulders, pulling her into her chest before stepping back and smiling to give her best friend a little space. 

Lena takes a deep breath as she wipes the tears away from her cheeks. “Yes, let’s go explore the cottage. I know it doesn’t look much like it did when my mother lived here, but I’ve only seen pictures and I’m curious.” She turns the key and pushes the door open. 

The place steals her breath. She can see that it has been remodeled and modernized. The door opens into a bright and open den with a fireplace. There is an island bar separating the living space from the kitchen. Through the floor-to-ceiling windows, she can see a patio with a table and a beautiful view of the shoreline. The more they explore, the more breathtaking the place is. 

“What do you say we check out the patio before we finish exploring the rest of the cottage?” Kara asks, reaching for Lena’s hand to pull her toward the door. “We can get settled after we explore. Come on, it’s 7:00 am, Lena. We have all day!” They both laugh as Kara pulls her out the back door onto the patio.

It’s a sight she didn’t expect. Lush green grass surrounded by bushes and trees, a telescope sitting on the deck overlooking the bay, and a hot tub sitting in the corner surrounded by a privacy fence with a built-in bar. Just beyond the hot tub, a little closer to the shoreline, there is a quaint little gazebo with a couch that’s perfect for watching sunrises or sunsets. It’s so much more than she ever imagined. Of course, the amenities scream Luthor and that makes her roll her eyes, but she is grateful that they maintained the cottage feel of the place. It’s perfect and she can’t wait to see what else awaits her inside.

The two of them eventually make their way through the entire cottage. It’s smaller than Lena initially thought, but still has two bedrooms, a small library/office in the loft, an open concept kitchen and den, a full bathroom between the bedrooms, and a small water closet close to the den. Add that to the outdoor space and it’s more than enough for them to live comfortably for the next month. Or longer should they choose.

Once they get their luggage into their rooms and unpacked, they meet back in the den. Lena settles into the couch while Kara gets a fire going. She catches herself watching the blonde as she arranges the firewood into the fireplace. Her best friend’s sinewy forearms easily capture her attention, the way she seems to move so fluidly through the task. It reminds her of all the times she’s drifted into fantasies, Kara's arms, her hands, and her imagination conjuring up the abs hidden under those cardigans. There have been plenty of times that her brain’s focus has been Kara, Kara, Kara. 

“Lena! Where’d you go?” Kara says, waving her hands in front of her best friend’s face. She chuckles as she kneels in front of the CEO. “I called your name several times. I got us both a bottle of water. I figure we can chat for a while before it’s time for lunch and you can spend some time in the library after that, if you want. You seem a bit distracted. If you need to spend time alone, please just tell me. I don’t want to be in your way. I know you need to figure some things out.” She watches Lena with an apprehensive look on her face, waiting for an answer.

She can feel her cheeks burning as she realizes Kara caught her deep into her not so platonic thoughts about her. Obviously, Kara doesn’t know that, but it doesn’t make it any less embarrassing. Swallowing her shame, she forces herself to look into her favorite pair of blue eyes. “Sorry. I was just thinking about some things. You getting the fire going just caused some things to resurface in my mind. It’s been a long day, so much to process.” 

She shakes her head, not sure where to even begin sifting through all the things in her head. Then it dawns on her, a way for the two of them to ask and talk about things they haven’t in the past. “How about we play a game? We were just talking about how there are things we’ve never really talked about, right?”

Kara’s brow furrows, the adorable little crinkle forming. “Yeah, that did come up recently. You can ask me anything you want, Lena. We promised no more lies. Whatever you ask, I’ll answer.” She cocks her head to the side, trying to figure out what game could be related to this topic. “Is there a game that you have in mind? One that would help in this situation?”

Lena smiles at Kara’s adorable head tilt. It has always reminded her of a golden retriever puppy. “Have you not ever played 20 Questions? I can’t believe that. There’s no way with Alex as your sister that you’ve never heard of that game!” She feigns shock and presses her hand to her chest. “It’s pretty easy to play. Each of us asks a question and we both answer.”

“I have heard of the game, but now that you mention it, I haven’t ever played it. There are a couple games like that I’ve never played.” She smiles shyly and a light rosiness colors her cheeks. “Alex mentioned a game once called, um, ‘Never Have I Ever’, I think that’s what it’s called. I never played that one either. She said it was a drinking game and well, you know human alcohol doesn’t do anything for me.” She gestures up and down herself as Lena’s eyes track her movements.

“Well, we can play both, if you want. We don’t have to drink right now since it isn’t even noon yet in Ireland. Though technically, it’s after midnight for us.” Lena smirks, raising her left brow in the way she knows gets Kara’s attention. “It’s up to you, but for the record, I packed some Aldebaran rum for you. Alex got it for me. I wanted you to be able to relax and drink if you wanted to.”

Kara smiles, her eyes softening with pure affection for the woman next to her. “Let’s save the rum for later. We can still play either of the games, if you want. I think both of us are too tired. Plus, we’ve had a really long day so drinking might not be the best idea.” She reaches out to grab her bottle of water and drains it before looking back at Lena. “Would you rather play 20 Questions or ‘Never Have I Ever’ right now?”

“Hmm, let me think.” Lens taps her chin with a smirk painted on her lips. She’s not sure how she wants to play this. Either game will get her some information she has been curious about for a long time, but one is decidedly less platonic than the other. It really comes down to how brave she is feeling at the moment. It isn’t like there’s anyone else around to hear any of their answers anyway, right? That thought helps make her decision. “What if we play ‘Never Have I Ever’ first? If it’s too much for either of us, we can switch to 20 Questions?”

A big, wide smile spreads across Kara’s face and she squeals in excitement. “Yes! I’ve never played, but always wanted to based on Alex and her friends talking about it. I’m happy that my first time is with you. How do you decide who goes first?” She bounces in her seat, practically vibrating with anticipation. “How are we going to know who has done the things asked for ‘Never Have I Ever’ if we don’t have drinks?”

Lena chuckles. She can’t get over how excitable and adorable Kara is about this. “How about we get more water and use it as the drink for the game?” She watches as Kara walks away, the jeans she’s wearing hug her muscular thighs and ass like they were made specifically for her. Lena has to bite her cheek to prevent herself from letting out a groan of frustration at how unfairly attractive her best friend is. For what feels like the hundredth time today, she shakes the thoughts from her head and sighs. Her eyes slowly migrate back to an appropriate place, locking onto amused blue ones. “I’ll ask the first question to get the game started if that’s okay with you.”

Kara nods her head and hands the bottle over to Lena, turning to stir the fire again before she plops back down next to the CEO. “That’s fine with me. You’ve played this stuff before and I haven’t.” She grabs the blanket off the back of the couch and slides closer to throw it across both their laps. “Ready whenever you are!”

Leaning her head back onto the cushion behind her, Lena tries to think of an easy first question. She doesn’t want to ask anything too heavy or personal right away since she isn’t sure how Kara will react. “I’m trying to think of something that would have been asked if you played this game as a teenager or in college. Wait, did you go to parties in college?” She looks over at the reporter in curiosity. “We never really talked about our college years. Mine was…interesting.”

“Yes, I went to parties in college. A lot of them, in fact.” She grins as Lena’s raised eyebrow and shrugs. “What? People think I am way more innocent than I actually am. No one ever really asks me about things, they just make a lot of assumptions.” Her hand moves up to her glasses and she pulls them off, tossing them on the table. 

Inside, Lena’s mind is firing rapidly, her thoughts spiraling at what Kara has just said. She isn’t as innocent as people think she is? In what way? Lena’s poor brain is stumbling over itself trying to decipher that. “Okay, in that case, Miss not-so-innocent, never have I ever played spin-the-bottle.” She watches as Kara maintains eye contact with her, screws the cap off the bottle of water, and takes a drink. A dark manicured brow shoots up in surprise as she takes her own drink. “I guess there is a lot more to learn about you, Darling.” 

“Does that mean it’s my turn to ask a question?” Kara grins, shifting in her seat so she is facing Lena. A nod of the CEO’s head confirms and she taps her chin in thought. “Never have I ever…gone skinny dipping.” Curious blue eyes land on mischievous green. 

Lena takes a drink and winks. Kara shakes her head and smiles. “What? I was a very rebellious teenager. Boarding school was very…educational in many ways.” She laughs at the blonde’s gaping mouth and lightly closes it with her fingers. “Better close that or you’ll catch flies. I take it you’ve never gone skinny dipping?”

Kara nods affirming her assumption. Her blushing cheeks betraying her attempt at composure.

“Is that because you’ve never had the opportunity or by your own choice?” She asks, hoping she isn't prying too much. “You don’t have to tell me, but I am curious and I definitely want to know more about you. My first time skinny dipping was with Andrea and a few other girls from boarding school. We snuck out of our rooms one weekend after midnight and went to the pool. It was a very enlightening experience for a 16 year old me.” She waggles her eyebrows and waits.

“Wow. You went skinny dipping when you were that young?” Kara asks, a little surprised, but also not really. “I think I was still too awkward and weird at that age to do anything remotely rebellious. I didn’t really feel comfortable in my body until I was in college too. So, I didn’t ever really have a chance to get naked in a pool with anyone.” She dips her head, suddenly a bit bashful about her inexperience.

Lena reaches out for her hand and squeezes it, silently asking Kara to look at her. “There’s no reason to be shy about it, Kara. We’ve lived different lives and experienced different things. It’s not like there is a map on how to navigate being a teenager.” She pats the blonde’s warm hand and pulls hers back onto her own lap. She’s not really sure what she wants to ask next, but she definitely wants to steer this towards romantic relationships and sexuality. How though? “Now, my next question. Hmmm. Never have I ever…had a crush on a friend.”

They both take a drink of their water. 

“Who was yours?” Kara asks, an unreadable look in her eyes. “I’ve had more than one, but James was one of those, as you know.” Her eyes dart down to her hands, picking the label off the bottle. 

“Well, my first crush was on a boy named Taylor before I got shipped off to an all girls boarding school.” She rolls her eyes at the thought of that kid. “The first real crush that turned into something? Probably either Veronica or Andrea.” A smirk spreads across her face and she watches Kara’s eyes widen and mouth once again drop open.

“Y-you…but I thought…women?” Kara stutters incoherently before running a hand down her face and tilting her head. Once she gathers her composure and reboots her brain, she asks her question. “So, you’ve been with women? Huh. I guess we’ve never really talked about our sexuality. How is that possible?” 

Lena laughs, a full-bellied bellowing laugh that bowls her over and causes her eyes to water. When she manages to collect herself, she looks up to an amused blonde with her head resting in her hand and elbow planted on the back of the couch. “Like I said earlier, there are a lot of things we’ve never talked about. Our romantic inclinations included. But to answer your question, yes, I have been with women. More so than men, actually. I’ve been in relationships with two men and three women, but have had…liaisons with a mix of both.” 

She shifts to face the blonde, resting her head in her own hand on the back of the couch. “I suppose if I had to label myself, I would say that I am bisexual with a preference for women, but I rarely date. With my last name, my wealth, and my job, I barely have time for sleep.” She scoffs. “Plus, I’d rather spend time with you when I have it. Anyway, what about you?” 

They smile at each other. Kara closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, opening them to settle ocean blues on emerald green. “Romance and love are hard for me. Things on Krypton were different. We didn’t have dating or even sex for that matter.” She huffs in frustration, not sure how to explain all the nuances of Kryptonian relationships. “I can tell you about Kryptonian norms another time, but dating has always been hard for me. Friendship too, if I am being honest. I mean, I thought I had been in love before, but now, it’s very clear to me what I felt wasn’t real.”

Lena stares at the superhero waiting for her to finish her sentence. When it becomes clear that Kara is lost in her own thoughts, she places a hand on the blonde’s forearm. “You don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to, Kara. We can talk about something else.” She gently rubs her thumb back and forth across the exposed tan skin under her palm.

Kara gives her a half-grin. “No, it’s fine. I just got stuck in my head for a minute. In answer to your question, Krypton didn’t really have sexuality and the gender of two people in a relationship didn’t matter. I think, in Earth terms, it would be called pansexuality? I’m not sure, but I think that is the closest thing to it. So, that’s how I have always approached my own.” 

She shrugs and looks down to where their skin is still connected, Lena’s thumb still moving across her skin. “I’ve never really dated any women, but I have been attracted to them. Even made out with a few in college. I guess because I’ve always been told to ‘blend in’ I never considered the fact that I could date women. At least not until Alex came out.”

Green eyes scan Kara’s face with affection and curiosity. “Would you be interested in dating women now? You’ve obviously dated men exclusively before. Is it something you want to explore? Romantically, I mean, in case that wasn’t clear.” She winks at the blonde as blue eyes roll at her. 

“Really? I think you made that clear, Lena.” She chuckles and pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. Her eyes flutter briefly as she tries to figure out how to answer the question. “I’m not really sure how to answer that question. In general the answer is yes, but I am also currently only interested in one person. Romantically.”

This captures Lena’s attention fully. There’s someone Kara is interested in and none of their friends have mentioned them? How is that possible? “Is this person someone I know? How come you haven’t mentioned them before? We’ve been together almost non-stop since we rescued you from the Phantom Zone.” 

She can feel her heart rate increase and her stomach tie itself in knots. It’s making her feel panicky and she’s doing her best to reign her emotions in because she knows Kara can hear her heartbeat. She takes a deep breath and again bites the inside of her cheek to calm herself. “Sorry, I just mean that I figured I would know about it since we’re usually always together. So who is this mystery person?” She tries to sound nonchalant and excited, but she’s not sure it landed.

“You definitely know them. Quite well, in fact.” Kara smiles, her eyes resting on the spot that Lena’s hand is now gripping her forearm instead of gently rubbing it. She’s incredibly nervous about what she wants to say. She’s been planning on telling Lena how she feels for a while, but doing it now could mean she is going back to National City early. Especially if things go badly, but Alex said Lena felt the same. 

One more deep breath, you can do this Kara.

“Remember how I said earlier that I thought I had been in love, but now I know what I felt before wasn’t real?” She watches as Lena nods her head. “Well, I thought I was in love with Mon-El and I guess I did love him, but I was never in love with him. I know that now. It was something I realized when I was in the Phantom Zone. It’s very clear to me that I am 100% madly  in love with this person and I’ve never felt anything else like it.”

Wide green eyes are fixed on Kara’s face, unsure what to say or do. Lena clears her throat, doing her best to keep her own emotions out of this conversation. “It sounds like you’re certain about how you feel. Have you told them yet? They’d be insane not to return your feelings, Kara. I hope you know that.” She does her best to stop her heart from plummeting into her stomach at the thought of someone else getting to love Kara the way that she does. 

Kare pulls her head out of her hand and flips her hand to take Lena’s into her palm. “It makes me really happy to hear you say that and I hope you mean it.” She brings her other hand up to push dark inky locks behind her ear, her palm and thumb coming to rest on a pale cheek. A smile spreads across her face as she watches green eyes flutter closed at her touch. “It’s you, Lena. I’m hopelessly, romantically, and completely in love with you.”

Lena’s eyes fly open, her heart does somersaults in her chest, and her stomach erupts into a million little butterflies. Without her permission, her eyes fill with tears and her mouth drops open. When she starts to feel Kara retreating from her space, she forces her brain to reboot and her mouth to work. “Y-you l-love me? Th-the person is m-me?” She blinks owlishly, unable to comprehend that Kara confessed her love. The woman she loves actually loves her back. “You want to be with me? Romantically? Not in a ‘that’s-what-friends-are-for’ kind of way, but dates and romance and all that comes with it?”

A pretty rouge blush colors tanned, lightly freckled cheeks. Sparkling blue eyes and a shy little smile shine back at Lena. She can’t believe this is happening. A dimpled smile stretches across her own face. 

Kara loves her back. She loves Kara and Kara loves her back.

Holy. Shit. Is this real?

Oh fuck. She hasn’t said it back! She needs to say it back!

She scrambles to get the words out of her mouth, her hand latching onto the one that is still resting on her cheek. “I love you too, Kara. I have for so long. I just…I can’t believe you love me back. I didn’t think you would ever feel the same.” She laughs, she can’t believe this is happening. “Is this real? I feel like I’m going to wake up any moment.”

Kara laughs. “If it’s a dream, I don’t ever want to wake up.” 

Their eyes meet and they both lean in. When their lips meet for the first time, it feels like the world stops for a moment. Time restarts. Separately, they each realize that the universe may have broken them in very different ways, but those edges allow them to fit together so perfectly now. As if they just needed the last missing puzzle piece to slot into place so their hearts can finally arrive home.

[nobodysystem]

i don’t know what to do at all because the only remotely legible (palatable to outsiders?) (coherent?) dynamic for an “abuser” is mod and us— and what am i supposed to do if it is mod? i was mod for a while there. i remember every ounce of their pain. they haven’t woken up in years because being alive was too much for them. they wouldn’t have done anything on purpose. i am, presently, living in a perpetual state of suspension just above my pile of issues: i’m not able to “accept” or “come to terms with” anything until i have a narrative that explains it, but if this is the narrative i’m stuck floating anyway because every breath that i take about it has to carry the weight of nuance and good intentions and their catastrophic pain and the fact that i wasn’t real at the time of course, all until there’s no room left for me